I was getting some Christmas shopping done this weekend, and I was trying to buy some DVDs for an unspecified familiy member or friend. I wanted something nice. I wanted to show them that I went out of my way for quality. I didn’t want just your average DVD, I needed one with some amazing features. For instance, I needed the DVD to prominently display that it features “Chapter Selection!”, and for those high-end tech junkies, it even offers “Menu screen!”

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find any DVD’s that offer “Moving images!” or “English-Speaking Actors!” Maybe in the future I can afford gifts that advertise that “Actual Product Exists in Our Dimension in 3-Dimensional Space!” or DVDs that are “Fully Compliant With the Laws of Gravity!”

Until that day, my friends and family are going to have to accept my special features-less gifts.

Turning the World
Resistance
Save Me