On Saturday night, I was enjoying myself at a party. Between conversations, I observed the typically illogical party dynamics that often hamper those sorts of events.
For instance, when I arrived everybody was clustered in a small sitting room. There were 5 or 6 people playing a game, and about 10 people standing (there was no extra seating available) around them watching them play the game.
While this might be thrilling for some, it didn’t exactly push my buttons.
To me, this seemed to be groupthink at its worst. I’m sure that at first there were just a few people there so they started playing a game to alleviate awkwardness (rather than wallow in it, as I would have liked). As other people arrived, groupthink apparently dictated: “Though there are several larger empty rooms with comfortable seating available, we must instead congregate in this smaller room and stand silently while observing these people play games.”
I got there and joined a few friends in going into the other rooms to sit down. When I’m at parties like this, I have a strange tendency to gravitate towards the smallest cluster of people available and stay there. I’m not particularly proud of this. I think it has something to do with my desire to dominate a small group of people and lead them in an bloody but heroic insurrection against their larger oppressor.
At any rate, the party was a blast, and I enjoyed being in party mode again. I was talking with a lot of people, joking around, laughing, and enjoying everybody’s company. Those who have known me for a long time will remember that this used to be my sole mode of existence. And it wasn’t always generous – quite often parties would end up with me shouting loudly as everybody listened to me belligerently drone on about Jeremy the Perfect Boyfriend or whatever else I was making fun of at that point. At the time, I enjoyed those evenings, but now when I look back I remember a lot of people being quiet and looking quizzically at me. Perhaps my fascist bellowing wasn’t as witty and clever as I thought it was at the time…
Nah. I bet it was awesome.