Good Boys and Girls

My bosses are trying out a new system to encourage their workers. They made a huge cloth racetrack and hung it on one of the walls, and all us employees get a little matchbox car with some velcro stuck on the bottom. If we reach certain individual goals at work, we get assigned points, and then we can advance our respective car that much farther down the track.

If I were a 6 year old boy, then this would be incredibly exciting and effective.

The thinly veiled contempt behind this ploy is incredible. I am an adult, and I work with adults, and management is passing out matchbox cars and hanging up colorful racetracks like we’re in a first grade classroom.

I have no doubt that my lack of enthusiasm about this endeavor, coupled with my inability to work overtime due to my school schedule will mean that I’ll finish towards the tail end of the pack. I don’t have a problem with this, as I refuse to allow myself to be motivated in such an insulting manner.

And anyway, my last day of work here will be on August 1st. I’m happy to work here, and I appreciate what this job has facilitated in my life. But I’m starting to look for my own checkered flag.

Gentlemen, start your student teaching!

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12 Responses to Good Boys and Girls

  1. Adam says:

    I am currently in fourth place, because the trainer gave me a glowing thumbs up when I went the “extra mile.”

  2. Alexis says:

    I’m in a training all day today and tomorrow and when we ask “good” questions we are given ACS bucks – which at the end of today whoever has the most will get a prize –> we have been promised it won’t have our company logo on it. I have 100 “acs bucks” so far….I’m behind.

  3. peter says:

    Alexis – does “What is the point of all this?” qualify as a good question?

  4. Alexis says:

    Now I have 200 “bucks”. I’m not sure what qualifies as a “good” question. I guess if it relates to our work, then it “qualifies”.

  5. Alexis says:

    Please NOTE; there usually isn’t a “point of all this”. Gee….I wish I had a race car. =)

  6. Adam says:

    The black guy that sits next to me painted white rims on the wheels of his car with White-Out. For some reason I thought that was funny.

  7. Burt Reynolds says:

    That’s a heck of a lot of white out. Do you know how many bottles he used?

  8. Burt Reynolds says:

    One time, when I was bad, I smeared a package of lard on the rims of someone’s tires and plastered crackers all over it. That was bad.

  9. peter says:

    Did you seriously do that, Burt? Did you know the person? Did it smell delicious?

  10. Burt Reynolds says:

    I didn’t know the person, so if you’re reading this, person who I did that to, I’m really sorry. I was not making good decisions in that time of my life. Peter: seriously, I did do it, and surprisingly, it didn’t really smell like anything.

  11. andrew says:

    This “extra mile” bit is almost as heinous a crime against dignity as the “Who Moved My Cheese” video we were subjected to a few weeks ago. “Smell the cheese often, so you know when it’s getting old.”

    Indeed.

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