A few months ago I downloaded AIM onto my computer in a futile attempt to help make my boring days at work somewhat more bearable. Before AIM, I would spend my free time at work obsessively cleaning my glasses and keeping up on fingernail maintenence. Now I get to spend those hours chatting with some of my friends. I’ve made some new friends – Geof, Rhonda, Sarah, Dave, and Michaela; I sometimes chat with my high school friends Dane and Erik; and sometimes I’ll even chat with my brother Patrick.

Over time I learned all the little acronyms and AIM-isms like “lol” and “brb”, and I even learned the difference between “haha” and “hehe”. However, sometimes those aren’t enough. In the spirit of making my AIM chats more efficient, I am introducing some new acronyms that can be used:

IYFP: I yearn for pudding
IAOTD: I am off to defecate
TIASAMD: There is a squid at my door
BSHJBATNPFC: Bob Saget has just been awarded the Nobel Prize for Chemistry
IACS: I am currently squatting
TPNMS: This pork needs more salt
ISWTFAM: I someday wish to father a mule

These new acronyms will improve the speed and efficiency of chats, while still allowing us to touch on such universal topics as unspiced pork and land-moving squid. Any other suggestions?

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13 Responses to Porksalter

  1. Adam says:

    IYATTHMOIMTIRLYNH: If you are talking to her more on IM then in real life you need help.

  2. Doug Smith says:

    Is salt considered a spice???

  3. Doug Smith says:


  4. Scotty Poppenjaw says:

    BSHJBATNPFC: Bob Saget has just been awarded the Nobel Prize for Chemistry.

    Oh Whoops You already got that one. Hehe, I see you get tired of typing that one yourself. I feel your pain brother. (now if only I could make Bob Saget feel that pain…)

  5. peter says:

    DBASAD- Don’t be a smart-ass, Doug.

    Scotty – great minds think alike.

  6. Maren says:

    IICDLDIW: If I could date Lloyd Dobler I would.
    All women get really tired of typing that one. Please add it.

  7. Scotty Poppenjaw says:

    Hello Maren,

    I myself find Lloyd to just be irresistable as well. Here’s one of my favorite “I Love Lloyd Dobbler” Sites. Enjoy. Perhaps you could add your own comments there.


  8. YGABH!—You’ve got a big head!

  9. Maren says:

    Thanks for the link, Scotty. I do love Lloyd, but
    unfortunately, I do not love him THAT much. Sorry, pal.
    ILLBNTM (I love Lloyd, but not THAT much)

  10. Maren says:

    Can Rachel Wells and I start a blog where the only
    entries are acronyms? We’d like for the title to be
    an acronym as well: ABDTMHI (A blog devoted to
    melonchologically heightened individuals).

  11. peter says:


    That blog would be a joy to read, I’m sure. Combining Rachel and Maren’s strangeness into one blog would be a delight.

  12. Geof says:

    IJHTPLMBR: I’m Just Happy That Peter Listed Me Before Rhonda.

  13. Holy crap. I just peed my pants.

    Um, HCIJPMP!!!

    (where do you come up with this stuff, Peter?)

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