There are many things in this world that distress me.
One of the handy features of The John Larroquette Project is that it allows me to plunge deep into every insane fantasy and paranoid delusion that enters my transom. I take great pleasure in subjecting you, my loyal readers, to the depraved depths of my consciousness.
Having said that, I need somebody to explain this for me:
Johnny Depp has been 35 years old for 7 years.
Gene Hackman has been 52 years old for 13 years.
Samuel L. Jackson has been 39 for 8 years.
Morgan Freeman has been 54 years old since 1989.
Sean Connery has been 63 years old for 17 years now.
I don’t want to go so far as to say that these men have made a pact with demons to achieve agelessness. Indeed, I don’t know why men would want to forever remain middle-aged, other than the fact that they’ve been typecast as sage men who dole out wisdom like a wrinkled Pez dispenser.
That, and submarine captains.
Any other suggestions for this list?
Dick Clark
Burt Reynolds
Wasn’t Charlie Brown in Elementary School for like 50 years?
Bart Simpson.
Tom Jones.
No pickin’ on Burt. FSU alumni should be free from mocking.
Jack Nicholson
John Kerry
Jack Nicholson’s a good one – how’d I forget him?
Also, Harrison Ford was 44 years old from about 1986-1995, but recently he’s begun to age at an alarmingly rapid rate, like that guy who dies at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Yeah that rapid aging thing happened to me at a party once…I was so smashed…
Goldie Hawn
Latter-day Hayley Mills
Barabra Walters
Dan Halmar has looked 20 for the last 12 years. You should talk to him to figure out their secrets.
Hi. First time caller, long time listener. I have a few for the list:
Carol Kelley: has been 27 for 11 years
Greg Larson: 25 for 10 years
Michael J. Fox
Maren Cramer 16 for 8 years.
Bob Hope has been 99 for like ever
Methusala was 830 for 100 years
Gilbert Godfrey and Mickey Rooney.
Oh and of course….
ABE VIGODA—http://www.abevigoda.com
Isn’t Bob Hope dead? That would kinda counteract that whole “never ages” concept…I could be horribly wrong there, but I don’t think I am…
Also — Billy Crystal is one who was the same age forever (~35) and then BAM! Oscar night he turned like 55… crazy.
the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew…still teenagers after all these years.
Seriously, Ochuk. >;{
TRANSOM! You used my word! I love that word! (I learned it about a month ago, and have been using it at every opportunity since)