My friend Tim sent me this link – a personal ad of sorts from Robert Cloutier, a man serving a lifetime sentance in prison.
I’m not sure how desperate my female readers are, but I’d like to throw this guy out as a possible option. His luxurious, flowing hair clearly demonstrates his ability to provide tender care for the delicate, tender parts of your soul. His bulging biceps show that he is ready to carry the emotional load of a committed, long-distance relationship with you right now. The startled, yet vacant look in his eyes means that he is a fine listener and a blank canvas, ready for you to manipulate and mold into a boyfriend of the finest calibur. His dirty blond mustache symbolizes his sensuous masculinity and virility – by all appearances he would be an oustanding kisser. Lastly, his unicorn painting that Robert holds so tenderly illuminates his spiritual nature – he believes in the magic of the unicorns, and the passion dripping off that painting tells you that he will take you on a wonderful journey of romance and desire, much like Aladdin did for Princess Jasmine.
My dear female readers – do not deny that Robert Coultier is the perfect man for you. Do not resist the feelings now bubbling over in your heart. He is waiting for you to contact him. He will never break your heart like free men have. Do not be deterred by the fact that Robert has killed another human being. He only did it because he loved that person too much. Is that really such a sin? Don’t you have something in your past that you’re ashamed of? Are you really better than this convicted murderer? You should be so lucky to have a man like Robert. Trust me, you’ll thank me for him later on.
Oh my. Some of the other prisoners on that site are most amusing, as well. I submit to you Linken: http://www.thepamperedprisoner.com/lsauroor.htm
Please note his favorite movies and musicians…lol…
peter… how can I ever repay you. i have decided to break up with Matt, as I have found my “soul mate” online. all because of you.
look how yummy he is.
and best of all… he is innocent ;o)
i will send you a wedding invite.
http://www.thepamperedprisoner.com/hthaumd.htm
can we talk?
Let’s talk about – Puppy dogs, horses, kittens and flowers for a minute.
http://www.thepamperedprisoner.com/dtimmstx.htm
Wow, some of those are incredibly funny.
And romantic. I’ve never in my life wanted to be a woman until now…
there are ladies out there looking
http://www.writeaprisoner.com/search.asp?c=n&p=8
pete-
this is a seriously disturbing/sad entry. as a female reader, i appreciate that you’re looking out for our love interests and presenting quite the option of boyfriend, but perhaps we should work a bit on your taste in men.
Peter:
Admit it. You only posted this because the dude’s holding a painting of a unicorn.
I now have such trouble deciding between Tim and my dear Robbie….