Shoe Statements

I was listening to the radio yesterday morning, and they were talking about the results of a recent survey of what women notice about men. About 60% of women reported that the first thing they notice about a man is not his face, not his body, and not his personality…

…they notice his shoes.

I’m having trouble getting over this. It’s just so incredibly arbitrary (as if I were to say that the first thing I notice about a girl is her fingernail hygene). I was teasing Bridgette about the fact that during one of our first conversations she mentioned how she liked my shoes. My response was something like, “Huh? Oh – okay I guess.” I didn’t know how to respond to such a compliment, and I obviously did not understand the significance of it.

Clearly, women must understand how men use shoes to reflect the deepest parts of our soul. We communicate with our footwear what we are unable to impart with our words. For instance, today I am wearing shiny black dress shoes with a one-inch heel. This indicates that I am a dark and mysterious man; I am austere and not easily understood, and suffering from cripplingly low self-esteem. By looking at my shoes, women are better able to survey the debilitating issues I struggle with and therefore avoid eye contact with me while scurrying away as I retreat into the shadows.

So men, use your footwear wisely. What are your shoes saying about you today?

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14 Responses to Shoe Statements

  1. Geof says:

    My sandals say, “Geof doesn’t give a rat’s ass.”

    They are right.

    However, my feet are unbelievably comfortable.

  2. Isaiah 52:7
    How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!”

  3. trey says:

    Im wearing shiny brown Rockports.. they say.. “look at the tool in the nice shoes..”

  4. Black heeled slip-on shoes; scuffed toes. They scream “Slacker, but damn good at it.”

  5. *tami* says:

    it’s true. a person’s shoes say alot about that person. didn’t you see forest gump?

    like, i have this friend (we’ll call him *jon*) who wears the same shoes every day. they are the most lack-luster, boring, beat-up pair of shoes i’ve ever seen. even when he’s wearing his nice work clothes, he’s still got those crappy shoes on. guess what this tells me — CHEAP! too cheap to buy new shoes, too cheap to have a girlfriend.

    but then there are lots of guys i now that have a wide variety of nice, comfortable shoes. and, no, this does not scream GAY at me, it says i’m a nice, comfortable sort of fellow. i sure wish i was spending all this shoe money on a nice, comfortable gal.

    guess which ones (when they have them) have the happier girlfriends.

  6. peter says:

    Tami, you are very wise. I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. :)

    Thanks for posting!

  7. alisa says:

    Id say eyes. But yeah, his shoes TOTALLY lets you know if hes metro or not.

  8. "stalker girl" says:

    Come on guys!! Haven’t you heard?? I think 60% of women first check out shoes for sheer size. Ya know, that old wives tale, which I’ve never seen or heard of being proven to be more than a tale….Big feet…….big…………..om, shoes! ;)
    I ,of course, fall into the leftover 40% group I’m proud to say. The first thing I notice are eyes and then hands. Any other gals with me??

  9. Michaela says:

    I really hope Tim and his red shoes are reading this.

    (Not that it matters I suppose, since he’s already got me snagged.)

  10. SarahJane says:

    Just once in my life I would like to watch an interaction like this:

    Guy: Man, those shoes you had on yesterday were so great! They matched your shirt perfectly, which obviously shows that you have good taste in all things.

    Girl: *quizzically raised eyebrow, a giggle* *silent stare hoping he’s kidding.*

    These are the things that should be on television.

  11. *tami* says:

    actually, stalker girl, you might want to look here –

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=12230622

    key quote: The supposed association of penile length and shoe size has no scientific basis.

  12. Geof says:

    I thought that having big feet meant that you got to order a big steak at dinner.

    :shrug:

  13. "stalker girl" says:

    I know there is no scientific basis between the two Tami…….just stating that many women might believe that old wives tale…..I’m an eyes and hands girl :)

  14. peter says:

    Ladies, ladies…

    It’s getting a little “blue” around here! :)

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