I was listening to the radio yesterday morning, and they were talking about the results of a recent survey of what women notice about men. About 60% of women reported that the first thing they notice about a man is not his face, not his body, and not his personality…
…they notice his shoes.
I’m having trouble getting over this. It’s just so incredibly arbitrary (as if I were to say that the first thing I notice about a girl is her fingernail hygene). I was teasing Bridgette about the fact that during one of our first conversations she mentioned how she liked my shoes. My response was something like, “Huh? Oh – okay I guess.” I didn’t know how to respond to such a compliment, and I obviously did not understand the significance of it.
Clearly, women must understand how men use shoes to reflect the deepest parts of our soul. We communicate with our footwear what we are unable to impart with our words. For instance, today I am wearing shiny black dress shoes with a one-inch heel. This indicates that I am a dark and mysterious man; I am austere and not easily understood, and suffering from cripplingly low self-esteem. By looking at my shoes, women are better able to survey the debilitating issues I struggle with and therefore avoid eye contact with me while scurrying away as I retreat into the shadows.
So men, use your footwear wisely. What are your shoes saying about you today?