The End of French’s Era

Is it now safe to say that the French Stewart era in American comedy is over?


His amazing work in Inspector Gadget 2 (or IG2, as the teaser posters so preposterously put it) and Home Alone 4 notwithstanding, it seems like his career may have hit a small bump in the road.

It’s really too bad, too, because that thing that he did when he didn’t ever open his eyes was fricking hilarious. Do you suppose his agent or other people close to him ever pulled ol’ French aside and said, “Hey buddy, I think what you’re doing is great. Really some top-notch comedy. Now, I’m not one to give unsolicited advice, but you might want to think about actually opening your eyes when you’re trying to be funny. Just a thought – keep up the good work!”

I hope I’m not offending any die-hard fans of Third Rock From the Sun with this post (in fact, if you actually are a die-hard fan of Third Rock, please contact me immediately, because I have some serious questions that I need to ask you). Sometimes I just get bothered when people with no discernable talent whatsoever become famous – people like Paris Hilton or Chris O’Donnell. French Stewart is like the deformed spawn of those two.

While this post may have been unnecessarily mean and spiteful, sometimes we need to be bluntly honest with people we love, or in French’s case, people we find grating and obnoxious.

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11 Responses to The End of French’s Era

  1. Proverbs 28:23
    He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.

  2. MJ says:

    I changed his name to Freedom Stewart when that whole war thing went down. I couldn’t possible support anything french…..

  3. Geof says:

    Peter, since my reaction was, “Who?”, one has to wonder if the era ever began.

    If you’re giving him his 15 minutes of fame, it’s time to beat you. :)

  4. *tami* says:

    wait wait wait. before you ridicule the man you must consider that he may have some kind of handicap which makes him physically unable to open his eyes. i mean, have you ever seen him with his eyes open? it looks like it is difficult for him – almost painful. he has to crane his neck up and stretch his whole face out. it’s almost sad.

  5. Adam says:

    He should be put in a home if he physically can’t open his eyes. Tami, perhaps you could take care of him and possibly date him?

  6. peter says:

    Tami – His plight would be sad if he weren’t French Stewart.

  7. Jamie says:

    i dont know I think he is kinda hot

    and talk about fashion sense

  8. MJ says:

    Freedom Stewart!, Peter, Freedom Stewart! Don’t you love your country?

  9. *tami* says:

    adam, dude, i said he was sad, not dateable. silly boy.

    do you guys think his real name is stewart french?

  10. *tami* says:

    i mean stewart freedom!

  11. Simon says:

    French Stewart is a legend. I dont think he is acting badly at all, I believe that you are forgetting that he is meant to be playing an alien in 3rd Rock. Check him out in Ally McBeal…………….awesome.

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