At work I sit next to a man named Forrest. Forrest is one of the nicest people in the world.
Forrest is genuinely pleasant, very patient, and cuddly like a sentient teddy bear. I am facinated by this, because I posess none of those qualities. I can fake being pleasant when I have to, I’m not particularly patient, and I’m hardly cuddly. I could better be described as austere and abrasive. Our differences are exemplified in my failed attempts to alienate Forrest. This exchange has occurred before:
Me: Hey Forrest, how was your weekend?
Forrest: Pretty good Pete, how was yours?
Me: God, I missed you so hard last night.
Forrest: (smiles) Good.
He has remained unfazed through all subsequent attempts at alienation as well, and my respect for him has only grown through this process. For this reason, I wish good things for Forrest. I hope that he gets promoted and finds love, because he’s earned it. He’s a genuinely good person, which I utterly fail to comprehend.
At some point I will break him though. Perhaps it will be when I share uncomfortable secrets with him, or maybe when I attempt to spoon with him during our lunchbreak. But I will break through his pleasant veneer. I will annoy and alienate him. Forrest is my greatest challenge yet, but I will not fail.
Maybe he’s the coworker you could make out with in the breakroom to scare away “B”. You should ask him.
The Doc has a point, it would kill two birds with one stone, and the day you finally check out of there you can walk out with your head high knowing that you have succeeded in life. Then when you rejoin the 9th Wild Dog Batallion you can say to them “I did it my Canine bretheren, I alienated the best of them!! I am now a man.., or a dog, or man-dog, or whatever it is I am to you!!!”
He even let you take that coy picture of him, Peter.
I think you are well on your way.
just admit your undying man love for him.. move to san fran.. and get it over with already…
GO WEST young man!
you guys could be brothers
I bet if Kevin was here we could totally alienate him.
Trey,
That Michael W. Smith reference was enough to turn this whole post gay.
Sincerely,
Chrissy
I thought that was Stephen Curtis Chapman…
although either way.. its still gay..
sincerely,
YOUR MOM!
Trey’s MWS comment is possibly my favorite comment ever.