There’s something seriously wrong with people.
My friend Ryan recently brought to my attention the existance of a meat-lover’s delicacy known as Turducken. Turducken is created by stuffing a whole chicken into a whole duck, and cramming all of that into a whole turkey. The spaces between the meats are then filled with sausage stuffing.
This is the most f-d up, disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
If you like, you can up the ante even further, and ask for a “dressed turducken”, which is garnished with a vest of spare ribs, along with a bow tie and belt made out of bacon.
What the hell is wrong with our society when people allow their love of meat to go this far? Do we know no restraint? Is a whole turkey really not enough meat for some people? I’m seriously furious about this.
While I’m angry about Turducken, I’m also a practical man. I can see that these escalating meat wars will lead to more and more meat items being combined into massive, sloshing meat units unfit for human consumption. The public will demand this, and I am willing to provide it to them. I am proposing that we stuff a whole lamb into a whole goat into a whole elk, and then wedge this entire thing into a whole bison and subsequently deep-fry the whole damn thing. It will be called Lagobiselk. It will weigh roughly 3000 pounds and contain 1.7 million calories. The practice of eating it will be condemned by all first-world nations. It will be appropriate to eat Lagobiselk using only a spear as a utensil and refrain from using human speech whilst eating – instead communicating with a crude system of gestures and grunts. It will be available at Sam’s Club for $14.99.
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for lunch.
Just for the record, I’ve never actually eaten Turducken. Although I am surprised by that, given where I hail from.
I found out about Turducken thanks to a smart-aleck comment in a news article by a PETA member (go figure). I then immediately Google searched “Turducken”, and found a disturbing amount of information. Try it, you’ll see.
Turducken was popularized by John Madden.
Holy crap. Where do they DO that? That’s disgusting (and I LOVE meat).
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Thanks, Peter.
ick just ick
btw peter your name has a bit of google power too
Dood, I would so eat that!
MEAT ME!
I agree with CJ, I enjoy meat, but this is completely gross.
And Jamie, what sorts of powers doth my name wield?
this is highly disturbing.. and if John Madden eats that “Barfducken” then he’s more of an idiot than I previously had believed him to be…
Now that I think about it, I think the article may have been about John Madden (or at least that segment of it was).
I would taste it. I don’t know if I’m up for a whole one though.
Most of the info I found on Turducken claimed that it tastes better than the sum of its parts. It supposedly has real synergy!
Thanksgiving is at Adam’s this year!
Yikes…that looks like something straight outta the Gallery of Regrettable Food.
Only worse.
Andrew, that link is hysterical!
not only is it the yuckiest food you could set your eyes on, did you know that Turducken is apparently a musical group of some kind? Thanks for the Google tip, Jamie, that’s where I found http://www.turducken.net
there’s music clips and everything, but I’m supposed to be working, so I didn’t really check it out too closely….
which came first, the band or the food item, I wonder?
Adam, I’m so with you. I’d love to try a taste of that turducken. Burt, can you hook us up with some Turducken? Maybe for our next fight club…
hey, i like all those things. why not eat them all together? i don’t get what your problem is, petey. you never know until you TRY!
i would also try your lagobiselk (a good name for a rock band).
CJ: You can get a turducken in Huntsville. You can also get fried turkey. I think they’ll even fry the turducken.
My friends and I have joked for years about getting one for our group Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year’s extravaganza.
That’s just sick. It’s a violation of some kind of poultry decency code. There are children at the table, for crying out loud!
How am I the one to hook people up with turducken? I’d much rather make Lagobiselk…besides, the kitchen we’re moving into is much larger than our current one, so I will have the space to work the animals inside of each other. What sort of agent would aid this process? Vaseline? Vegetable Oil?
I don’t see why that’s so gross… I’d eat it… No problem
Get off Google, and get some turducken, and try it. You can get a small turducken roll, if you don’t want the entire bird(s). Its tasty, and not gross like your uninformed comments. Bon appetit!
Most of you are pretty lame in your response. Don’t you know how to do a Google search? If you haven’t tried one, you are missing out. It’s delicious, it’s cajun, and you know those folks down in Louisiana really know how to cook. (New Orleans for example? One of the Cullinary Capitals of the Western World?)
BTW, John Madden didn’t invent it.
From Wikipedia:
“The largest recorded nested bird roast is 17 birds, attributed to a royal feast in France in the 19th century: a bustergophechiduckneaealcockidgeoverwingailusharkolanbler (originally called a Rôti Sans Pareil, or ‘Roast without equal’) – a bustard stuffed with a turkey, a goose, a pheasant, a chicken, a duck, a guinea fowl, a teal, a woodcock, a partridge, a plover, a lapwing, a quail, a thrush, a lark, an Ortolan Bunting and a Garden Warbler. The final bird is small enough that it can be stuffed with a single olive; it also suggests that, unlike modern multi-bird roasts, there was no stuffing or other packing placed in between the birds. This dish probably could not be recreated in the modern era as many of the listed birds are now protected species.”