I came in to work today all excited about my blog entry. I had a funny idea picked out, based on a popcorn-related mishap at work yesterday, but when I checked out Adam’s blog this morning, I see that he had already written a very funny bit on it.
Damn you, Adam. Now I am left wandering in blogsqualor without a suitable topic to write about.
I suppose I could go ahead and do the bit I was thinking about on burning popcorn, but it would be pointless. Adam’s writing is quite similar to how I would have gone about it anyway, with unnerving descriptors and even the violent punchline to punctuate the humor at the end. I could make this entry about my slow-burning, intense hatred of Adam’s blog, but I’ll save that for next week, after I punch Adam in the mouth and make him bleed.
So basically I’ve got nothing. Except for this:
As a fan, I’ve long been bothered with Neil Diamond’s appearance. The glittery shirts, the poofy hair, the caterpillar eyebrows, the sideburns inexplicably combed over the ears, and his ever-growing nose.
Over the years Neil has come to resemble a Jim Henson creation. He is missing only the ping pong ball eyes. Maybe upon his death I will finally see this dream come to fruition. It would be a death with dignity – having him stuffed and manipulated with a puppeteer who allows us to witness him performing “America” one last time, but with the added intensity that googly eyes would bring. Maybe someday we could witness such a glorious vision…
Image courtesy of Ryan (Guy Incognito)