The Best Hat Ever Devised

pardon me?

LONDON — Actress Alicia Witt models what is claimed to be the most expensive hat ever made, the $2,700,000 Champrau d’Amour, by celebrity couture hat designer Louis Mariette, at Christies in London. The hat is covered entirely in dazzling diamonds and inspired by entwined ivy and bluebells. (06/14/04 AP photo)

So this hat is worth $2.7 million?

…Yeah, I suppose that sounds about right.

That has got to be the greatest hat I’ve seen in a long time, and I wish I had the finances to pick one of them up. Some mornings my hair just will not cooperate, and I just have to throw a hat on so I won’t have to deal with it. Most of the time I’ll choose a baseball cap, but some days I’d prefer to have a massive, diamond-encrusted set of antlers that completely blocks vision in my left eye. I’d just throw that sumbitch on my head, pull an old t-shirt out of the hamper and I’m set for the day. Lots of times I like to wear my caps backwards, but I think that wearing this particular hat backwards would upset its tenuous balance, straining my neck and likely causing disfiguring scoliosis. This would also occur if the wearer of the hat were to turn his or her head 5 degrees in any direction.

Actually, this hat is starting to sound really awesome. I wonder if they make one with a Red Sox logo on it?

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12 Responses to The Best Hat Ever Devised

  1. lauren says:

    i have always wondered where these fashion ideas come from. if you see any of them, they are all really hideous and would never be worn. so, why do they go to all this trouble, why don’t they just stick it in an art museum?

  2. Roger says:

    Looks like it was inspired by Dr Seuss.

  3. Sarah says:

    If you find a resonably priced hat like this, i’ll let you come over and dust those hard to reach edges around the ceilings.

    Think of the jealously you’ll inspire by owning such a chic hat and being able to dust at the same time….you’ll be able to gather a new entourage of “hat groupies” who will cower in your hat’s wake and worship the ground you walk on.

  4. That’s the closest thing I’ve seen to someone wearing a chandelier. All it needs is lights.

    And all I need is a phone number from the wearer in the picture.


  5. Adam says:

    Why? You gonna ask her out?

  6. Drewy says:

    The first thing I thought when I saw that picture was “That woman is wearing the dug-up fossil of a dinosaur on her head.” I seriously thought those were the bone structures of some ancient tails sticking out of her head. Then I saw the price and it was making sense; wearing a fossil on your head would be quite expensive. But then I read that it was just boring diamonds.

    Personally, I would much rather wear a large fossil than some shiny diamonds. I’m sure lots of people through history have worn diamond-encrusted hats. But how many have worn real dinosaur bones?

  7. Reilly says:

    Huh. I thought that was a picture of giant centipedes attacking her head.

  8. Atreyu says:

    I really wish I could meet the creator of that hat. Not to Congratulate them or anything. No, I don’t think I’ve ever had the burning need to slap someone up side the head before like I have right now. Not a mean slap mind you, but a “What the F*$# were you thinking?” slap. Followed by a “That’s it?!?! You had 2.7 mil. To come up with a cool hat, and That’s it?!?!”

    Of course I’ll have to save one of those slaps for anyone should they decide to buy it. (“You had 2.7 Mil. To blow on anything you wanted, and you chose…”)

  9. That hat could kill somebody! And yes, wearing a fossil would be more impressive. Yep, Adam, I’m going to ask Alicia Witt out for a date. But, I’ll first tell her to go sell that thing in exchange for some funny paper so we can go have an exciting date at a London department store trying on all sorts of hats! Ah, that’d be a great time. =) She’d giggle…I’d giggle…

  10. the Sage says:

    I would sell the hat and buy a diamond encrusted trash dumpster instead. Always wanted one of those.

  11. scott says:

    obviously her date was just thinking to himself “what do i care? she’s hot!”

  12. Katie says:

    I completely agree with Roger and lauren!! this is so, i dont know, weird? odd? strange? those dont even begin to describe that hat… i would love to wear it, just to say that i had… but like lauren said, i – nor would any body else – EVER EVER wear that horrid thing!!

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