Peter’s Childrens Book

Greetings, young fools.

I’m back from my vacation now, and I will regale you with tales of cabin love on Friday. But for now, I’d like to share something a little more special with you. Back in the 1900’s, when I was in high school, I used a neat little program on my family’s computer to create short children’s books. Of course, given my nature, these stories were disturbing and violent. I will be sharing these stories with you, beginning with this one.

This tale is entitled “Steven is Naughty”

steven one

page two

page three

page four

page five

page six

page seven

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15 Responses to Peter’s Childrens Book

  1. Chrissy says:

    Hahahaha!

    It’s nice and warm in hell, Peter.

  2. John R says:

    I’m so proud of you peter. i wish you were my father.

  3. Dirty Old Man says:

    How do you make a dead baby float?
    –Two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby.

    How many dead babies can you fit in a suitcase?
    –Seven.

    What’s pink and red, and sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller?
    –A baby combing his hair with a potato peeler.

  4. Adam says:

    Wow. I really liked that.

  5. Uosdwis R. Jawoh says:

    I think Rock TV should adapt this book for the screen.

  6. Roger says:

    With a moral and everything, how come you never had these published? Someday I may have a child who has been very naughty, and I may want to read him a bedtime story…

    Also, I’d like to be able to purchase mine shrink-wrapped with a flame-thrower kit.

    Thanks.

  7. amy grant says:

    baby baby… Im taken with the notion..

    I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.. and liked it…

  8. _steve says:

    Spectacular.

    I love how the wasp-esque magic looks strangely like masturbation.

  9. peter says:

    Steve, that’s hysterical. In all these years I’ve never noticed that. It adds such a nice sub-text to the whole thing. :)

  10. lauren says:

    um, i thought the same thing _steve. i was just asking adam what the hell the old man was doing. he said lighting the baby on fire, well he’s lighting something on fire, but it’s NOT the baby.
    <— will no go and lock her self in her closet for having such gross thoughts

  11. amy grant says:

    lauren.

    HAHAHA!

    hillarious

  12. Maren says:

    I fear the day when our society will rule it
    intolerant to ban books like this from being published. =[]

    I also fear the presentations of more of “Peter’s childrens
    books”.

  13. Peter’s children’s books are like X Files episodes.

  14. Sarah says:

    I’m glad i’m not the only one who inferred masturbation from the infant burning…..
    And to think Peter will be shaping minds under his tutilage. I shudder at the thought. This book is enough to give even me nightmares.

  15. moron says:

    It really does look like he’s holding his penis (Hope he isn’t gay)Are all naughty people punished by masterbating maniacs? I need to know

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