Recently I got an email out of the blue from an old high school friend asking if I want to get together for a beer. I happily agreed to the idea, provided that we instead go out, score some blow, and get coked-up out of our minds.
Setting that joke aside for the moment, it was strange for me to think about all the changes that have gone on in my life since I was last in contact with this guy. How could I adequately explain everything? Would we still have much in common? I happen to know that he’s now married, so that went and blew my plan of breaking the ice with some classy hookers.
So I guess he and I will be getting together sometime in the next week or two. This could go a few different directions:
a) We might have a pleasant time, and after dinner agree to go our separate ways and do this again in another 5 years.
b) Tempers might flare and the evening would devolve into another argument about why I stole his girlfriend in 10th grade, even though she clearly liked me more and he told her she was fat so what did he care anyway?
c) My father, Chet, might arbitrarily join us, causing confusion and discomfort in all parties involved.
d) We might be visited by the Ghost of Christmas past and be made to revisit the errors of the past (i.e. stealing girlfriends, etc.)
A lot has changed for me since I was 21 and last knew him. Most noticably, I have gained about 15 pounds. In addition, I have fathered a family of rabbits. They are delightful and cuddly, and I seek to lovingly provide for them, just as any father would. I also punish them when necessary. With a wooden pole. Most of my rabbits are now dead.
You see, I am a whole different person now. What connections might there still be with my old friend? Does he also now harbor an insatiable lust for peanut brittle? Does he now also listen exclusively to Night Ranger’s last 3 albums? Is he also in talks with major Hollywood players to produce the long-awaited “The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Thrice”? Are we leading parallel lives?
I can only hope…