Shield Your Children

Today’s entry was written by my brother. I’ve had a difficult week for some health-related reasons, and Patrick was nice enough to contribute this hilarious little nugget…

MOSS TO WORLD: “I AM THE ANTICHRIST”
The antichrist

Randy Moss is evil and he intends to harm all of us. Any reasonable journalist can agree on this much. But Moss has gone one step further to tell the world that he is much more than just your run-of-the-mill black-hearted, baby-punching, Satan-loving Hitler. Randy Moss is actually the Antichrist, come to destroy the world and end all happiness. At Lambeau Field following a touchdown reception, Moss made a gesture pretending to moon the fun-loving football fanatics, who had been quietly and respectfully seated watching the match. His “fake moon”, if that’s what you want to call it, was a clear challenge to God’s authority on Earth. Randy Moss ought to be hanged and then shot before he destroys our peaceful nation, our fair world, or the otherwise always gentlemanly National Football League. His malicious antics ought to be the center of the national media’s attention for years to come, because he is singularly the greatest threat to our way of life.

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7 Responses to Shield Your Children

  1. Pingback: Ochuk's Blog » Randy Moss Worse Than Hitler

  2. lauren says:

    I’m confused… this doesn’t seem that bad

  3. lauren says:

    Esp since I am “fake mooning” you all even as I type

  4. sarah says:

    I suspected but was never quite sure. Thanks for confirming the beginning of the apocalypse. Tsunamis, mudslides, death, desruction, mayhem…..and Randy Moss. Now i can load that rifle i keep under my pillow.

  5. *tami* says:

    oh, and i thought he was just an nba player in disguise… i’m so naive!

    get better soon, peter!

  6. mustard seed says:

    Reporter: “Write the check yet, Randy?”

    Moss: “When you’re rich you don’t write checks.”

    Reporter: “If you don’t write checks, how do you pay these guys?”

    Moss: “Straight cash, homey.”

    Reporter: “Randy, are you upset about the fine?”

    Moss: “No, cause it ain’t [expletive]. Ain’t nothing but 10 grand. What’s 10 grand to me? Ain’t [expletive] … Next time I might shake my [expletive].”

  7. shawn says:

    who ever wrote this about moss should get shot just ass well then moss is the best and you know it and your jelous

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