4-Star Comedy!

In the theater of life, it’s good to know that one can still go out and catch a feel-good comedy now and again. A few months back, I reviewed the performance of a woman with hundreds of dead cats in her home. While at times predictable and cliche, her wit and comedic insight into the world of feline carcass collection was welcomed.

Now we come to this news out of the St. Petersburg Times. I have to say, this guy’s stuff is hilarious!


Published May 2, 2005


INVERNESS – An Inverness man was arrested Saturday after breaking into his neighbors’ house and threatening them, shocking himself by sticking his fingers into a lamp socket, threatening a deputy with a metal rod, running naked through his yard and chewing through a cable in a patrol car, authorities said.

Deputies were called to a home on East Dawson Drive, just behind Beall’s, at 1:35 a.m. after getting a call of a burglary in progress.

When Tabb turned, he saw a man holding a metal rod and wearing only a sheet wrapped around his waist, a report said. He was yelling that he was “ready to go to jail.”

The deputy fired a Taser at him, but it didn’t connect. The man threw dirt and rocks in the deputy’s face, the report said.

The suspect made it over the fence, losing his sheet in the process and sprinted, naked, into his home, the report said.

As he tried to force area family members out of their home, one of the victims shot him with a Taser.

That just caused the intruder to demand to be shocked some more. He grabbed a lamp, unscrewed the bulb and stuck his fingers in, shocking himself and yelling.

After Phelps was arrested, deputies say he damaged the patrol car by biting through a cable cord in the back seat.

Phelps was taken to Citrus Memorial Hospital and then booked into the county jail.

A few thoughts on the performance…

-Throwing dirt and rocks into the face of a sherriff’s deputy is both gutsy and clever. Next time, I might try to bark at him in some sort of coded language understood only by yourself. That would send it through the top!

-I liked the fact that he did all of this while naked, but it’s been done so many times before. It would have been funnier if you had only been wearing an undersized t-shirt with BBQ stains on it.

-The fingers in the lightsocket bit was brilliant! Such clever satire on America’s inefficient energy consumption!

-I was a bit puzzled when you bit through the cable in the back of the squad car; might it be better to move that gag so that it comes earlier in the performance? It would help out the pacing that way. Also, instead of biting through a cable cord, maybe you could bite through a passerby’s femoral artery?

Great stuff though, I enjoyed it quite a bit. I’ll be looking for your next performance!

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4 Responses to 4-Star Comedy!

  1. Mustard Seed says:


  2. Thom says:

    I don’t know…the t-shirt would have made it to…Cops…we’ve seen that a million times over.

  3. perhaps a themed t-shirt. a tuxedo tee, for example. or a 100% hemp shirt touting the virtues of an area organic foods market. or maybe just a (self-fashioned) half shirt with pauly shore’s hair, forehead, and eyes peering above the ragged cutline, truncatedly promoting the majesty that was biodome.

    in any case, bbq stains would be crucial to the overall effect. as bbq stains are wont to do…

  4. kevin s. says:

    Interestingly enough, it turns out that the man was none other than the Timberwolves own Mark Madsen. “Mad Dog” was apparently hears yelling “c’mon hustle!”, and intermittently dribbling a basketball off his foot.

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