For my birthday this year, my fiance demonstrated her love and fidelity towards me by giving me the greatest gift that any man could possibly recieve.
A fat, sloppy Best Buy gift card.
The next day, as I entered my neighborhood Best Buy location, my hands trembled with anticipation and ecstacy. My stomach tightened when I was greeted by the blue-shirted hipster at the front door, and I nearly vomited with excitement when greeted with the store’s patented aroma of plasma televisions and nerdsweat. As I wandered down the ailes of DVD’s, CD’s, and other miscellanious hoo-ha, I tried to weigh my decision. On one hand, I could get a few special edition DVD’s and spend the next 6 weeks wading through the commentaries, documentaries, and scene selections. On the other hand, it might be fun to purchase a dead rabbit instead. These decisions are never easy.
In the end, I wound up purchasing a CD, a couple DVD’s, a mollusk, and 10 units of happiness. Do I regret receiving the happiness units from an rotund, slovenly man in the home appliances aisle? Sure. Would I do it again? Almost certainly not. But was it the correct decision? Absolutely. You see, my friends, you can’t choose life – instead, life happens to you. Sometimes life happens when you get married, or have a child. Sometimes life happens when somebody close to you passes away. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, life happens to you during a Best Buy shopping spree when you are tricked by a wiley gentleman who smells faintly like seafood. Do you catch my drift? Are you reading between the lines? Can you see what I’m trying to tell you?
Because if you do, I’d be curious to know. I certainly have no idea where the hell I’m going with this…