Inaccurate Rochester Memories

Good news everybody: I’m no longer living in Rochester anymore!

As you’re reading this, no doubt many of you are momentarily throwing your arms into the air in celebration before thinking, “Wait, Peter was living in Rochester? Since when?” To everybody who did that, I hate you.

Yes, I’ve spent the better part of the last 45 days in the fair burg of Rochester, MN – home of the world-renowned Mayo Clinic and the somewhat-less-renowned McDonalds on 2nd street where I used to go when I was in high school. The city welcomed me back with open arms. Perhaps I should clarify – the bums of the city welcomed me with open arms and their beautiful mountain-love. It was a homecoming that I won’t soon forget, though I would certainly like to.

Anyway, long story short, I’m back. No more hour-long commutes to work in Inver Grove Heights. No more frenzied ape-riots. My Rochester experience is over. It feels good to be back in the Twin Cities, where my friends are, and where wizened donkey generals rule with an iron fist and mustaches like Stalin.

Truth be told, I have no idea what I’m writing here. This is just a stream-of-consciousness exploration of the flaccid recesses of my mind. I’m sure that all of you expect no less from the John Larroquette Project. I’m only too happy to oblige you with my tales of sorcery and horse-lust.

Oh, and before I forget to tell you, I sucked all the fluid out of a highlighter yesterday.

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5 Responses to Inaccurate Rochester Memories

  1. Concerned says:

    I was doing a search on google about my own problem with Volitile Substance Abuse, which for me happens to also be primarily Highlighters. When I came across your blog I was very touched in your subtle plea for help. Telling the world about the problem is the first step to recovery. I have often times stood in front of my support groups and found much encouragment in knowing that others are also experiencing the same type of problems I have, and that they are not there laughing at me for Highlighter abuse like so many others would do at the mere mention of it.

    I’ll going to try and find your email so I can send you my personal contact information if you’d like to talk about this further in a more private setting. In the mean time here’s a link to a site that has a little information on your symptoms whcih can help you understand things like your “Frenzied Ape-Riots”.

    I’ll also be praying that y our next stay at the Mayo clinic is a more successful one. Hang in there.


  2. Uosdwis R. Jawoh says:

    You were living in Rochester???
    Who the hell was sleeping on my futon then?

  3. peter says:


    That was one of the apes.

  4. Uosdwis R. Jawoh says:

    Oh. That explains the smell…

  5. Concerned says:

    Does anyone know where I can score some glue?

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