(viking horn)

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a pre-season Vikings game at no charge, thanks to the guile and quickery of my friend Tami.

Before I thank her too heartily, however, I should add that we had the second-worst seats in the house – 2nd to last row in the northeast corner of the Metrodome.
Pre-Season Majesty

Now, don’t get me wrong – I love the Vikings, and I was happy to be there, but these seats were ridiculous. You seriously got vertigo looking down at the field from this height. As we made our way up the stairs, waiting for row 27 of the upper deck to arrive, we were all getting a little tired.

21…….22…….23………24………25……..26…….27! Alright! We made it!

Now, where can I puke?

Determined not to have to climb that ascent again unnecessarily, I decided not to visit the concession stand and instead scavenged for discarded chunks of hot dog buns and Cracker Jack fragments. I applied a set of clamps to my groin area to avoid having to go the bathroom while mocking my sweaty, out-of-breath friends who had just returned from such a trip. Otherwise, I sat and watched the ant-like players move slowly at a great distance, and when the crowd seemed to get excited I stood and cheered like the spineless sheep that I am.

But hey, at least we weren’t the dudes in the last row!

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5 Responses to (viking horn)

  1. sarah says:

    Yeah, I got free tickets to that game, too, however I was in the 32nd row of the lower level mocking all those who would dare even enter the dome to claim the nose-bleed seats. I laughed heartily at the wildly convulsing forms near the ceiling of those who were running out of oxygen being at such extreme altitudes.

    Thanks for contributing to my enjoyment!

  2. daunte culpepper says:


    I get free tickets to Vikings games too. Why is that? Oh, that’s right, cause I’m the QB! Daaaaaaaaaaammmmmnnnn…..

  3. Wow – I hope I don’t drop my tickets the way I drop the football every week….

  4. daunte culpepper says:

    screw you, Randy… Shoot anyone cops Oakland yet, dawg?

  5. scott says:

    i once had free tickets to a saints preseason game once. stupid bastards wasted my time by playing like garbage, and i left at halftime.

    at least the vikes have a good qb. hey daunte!

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