It’s a joke how tall I am.
In the morning while primping and preening for the mirror, I am literally forced to kneel down in order to see my face. Otherwise, when standing at my full 6’5″ height the mirror gives me a nice shot of my lower neck – helpful when adjusting a necktie or measuring the growth of my Adam’s apple, but pretty much useless for the other 65% of my life.
This is pretty much par for the course, believe it or not. It just doesn’t seem like there are any mirrors set at an appropriate height for a man-beast such as myself. Because of this, I’m stuck walking around at work looking like an idiot because I can’t see that I’ve got chunks of lamb stuck in the corners of my beard from breakfast. Then everybody stares at me and makes odd sweeping gestures near the corner of their mouths, but I just figure they’ve got AIDS or something. How the hell was I supposed to know?!
I don’t really know what can be done about this. I’ve tried getting into fistfights with deputy sheriffs, but that only seems to have exacerbated the situation. I’ve also considered carrying a handmirror, but then I decided I didn’t want to. Clearly, there are no easy answers here. All I know is that somebody should do something to fix this for me, or I’m voting Democrat in ’06.
I think you have two choices. Either amputation at the knees or at the neck.
Think about it for a while.
Yeah! No one fix anything!!
I am more interested in what size your Adam’s apple is. Has it grown recently?
You should really post a picture of yourself getting the mail out of your bottom level mail box. (You have to see it to understand)
If elected president, I will restore you to a normal height. Unless you want to be taller, then I will do that to. Whatever you want man…
Seriously, vote for me or I’ll !@#$%^ kill myself…
I need to be President so hard…
maybe getting a wheelchair and becoming ‘handicapped’? not only can you use normal mirrors, but you get to go to the front of the rides at theme parks.
Scott, that is genius.
I remember when you first met Bridgette. You screamed and stomped on her because you thought she was a bug…
Good times, good times…
Just a thought….why are you eating lamb for breakfast?? Is is some sort of bizzare American dish?
Kat, three things have made America great:
1. God
2. Guns
3. Lamb for breakfast.
If you don’t like those, go back to Russia.