The Sweetest Milkshake

I’m currently reading The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. It’s a fast-reading, insightful book about how to express love to your spouse in a way that they will fully understand and appreciate. An important element in reading it is discovering what your own love language is, and communicating that to your spouse.

So last night I told her. My love language is milkshakes.

The giving of milkshakes, the receiving of milkshakes, or even the loving mention of milkshakes. All of them make me feel a deep, unquenchable love for my wife. It can be a massive, frosty milkshake from Annie’s Pub, or the lowliest unnatural concoction from McDonalds, and it will cause me to weep without shame. Any flavor, too. From hot fudge to rancid beet, a milkshake’s a milkshake as far as I’m concerned.

This book has helped me to understand why Bridgette has seemingly not appreciated the nightly gifts of milkshakes that I offer her. I once tried to romantically pour a milkshake on her pillow to remind her of my love. Believe me, that didn’t end well.

I have also sent Dr. Chapman a milkshake in appreciation for the insight he gave me through his book.

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6 Responses to The Sweetest Milkshake

  1. ted says:

    How would you feel about a hot tube full of milk shake for you to sit in and absorb the milky goodness?

  2. scott says:

    i’m guessing the large tub of milkshake in the honeymoon suite didn’t go well either, huh?

  3. peter says:

    Scott-
    It wasn’t good.

  4. Roger says:

    I guess I would try milkshake-wrestling next.

  5. Chris says:

    My love language is shame. I feel loved when I am made to feel deep, abiding, appropriate shame. I enjoy being punished for the shameful things I have done. I only discovered this recently in therapy, and my therapist insists this explains how often I find myself naked in public, with “Look at What I Have Done” drawn onto my torso in wood glue and glitter. I just want to be loved, just like everyone else, is that so wrong?

  6. St. Ivan says:

    No Chris, that is not so wrong. in fact, the wish to feel loved can only be right. and if it’s horrible and shameful love that makes you feel right, then by all means i want you to spread wood glue and glitter all over this earth, naked, until the whole world asks itself “Look at what i have done.”

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