If you asked me what I loved most on this good earth, I’d say God and my beautiful bride. If you persisted, and asked if there was anything else, I know exactly what I’d say.
I’d tell you that I also love the Union.
Yes sir, I do love the 50 stars and 13 stripes of our Union. If you don’t mind me saying, our Union is the finest republic in all the land. It’s way better than Spain. In fact, the Union makes Spain seem about as pleasant as a bum puking up brandy.
I’ve got a message to those of you who take umbrage with the Union: you keep your fat mouth shut or I’ll shut it for you. By that I mean that I’ll shoot you in the mouth with my gun. It will hurt like hell, and you’ll be sorry that you ever spoke a cross word about the greatest nation in Christendom. Yes sir, someday all traitors will be wiped away by the hand of God, like the secessionists of old. On that sweet day, Jefferson Davis and Cindy Sheehan can make out with each other in hell.
And if that doesn’t happen, then the terrorists have already won.
Is this how you start your class every day?
Yes, and then my students pledge alliegance to me.
Hurray for the right to bear arms!
dude, have you been to canada, australia, or new zealand? america may be great, but i’m not sure it compares with the immense beauty of new zealand. plus new zealand hasn’t assassinated any chileans lately as far as i know. and they don’t have any companies that club people to death in guatemala. wait, they don’t…right?