As reported in The Times (London) – October 27th, 2005:
Performance artist Tomoko Takahashi, 39, working on a British government grant of the equivalent of about $8,600, gave an exhibition of inebriation in October in in Cardiff, Wales. Dressed in business suit and high heels, Takahashi drank a large amount of beer over a three-hour period, periodically checking to see how far she could walk across a narrow beam about two feet off the floor without falling. A Chapter spokesman called the demonstration a “powerful piece of art.”
This is, without a doubt, the most significant artistic development since Picasso became incontinent.
Just think of the new era that this development heralds. This woman was paid nearly 9,000 bucks to get wasted and wobble across a balance beam. This work of art makes Michelangelo’s David look like a half-witted mongoloid, fit for euthanization.
The genius of this act lies in the the intrinsic awesomeness of seeing some stupid drunk woman fall and potentially break her wrist. Watching her slam into the unforgiving concrete ground and hearing her startled shrieks of pain would provide great satisfaction, given the fact that she is undeniably a pretentious twit.
Seriously, how many people suppose that this woman is a fun person to be around? Even when she’s drunk, she won’t do the usual drunk things like laughing too loudly and flirting with ugly dudes. No, she has to prove her tired point to some elitist assholes by teetering across a damned balance beam in a museum.
I say we get a team together to go punch her and stuff. Who’s with me?