Sassydome

Over the weekend, the Minnesota legislature approved the financing for a new Twins ballpark, as well as a football stadium for the Golden Gophers. In addition, they invited the Vikings to return next session with a plan for a new Vikings stadium. These welcome developments beg the question: what’s going to happen with the Metrodome? The dirty, dingy bubble-building has sucked the essence out of life for nigh on three decades. What will become of it?
Gaming Perfection.

Fortunately, I have a few helpful suggestions:

-Implode the building immediately upon completion of the third quarter of the Vikings week 8 matchup against the Kansas City Chiefs.

-Force Saddam Hussein to run the bases there until he suffers heart failure, then drop him from the ceiling.

-Use it as a warehouse for unsold “Rude Dog” clothing.

-House hurricane victims there, and then have the media report as fact a large number of wild, unsubstantiated rumors.

-Make it the home field for the Baltimore Orioles.

-House exciting alternative sporting events there, like a new version of American Gladiators where athletes mudwrestle monster trucks.

-Fill it with halfway up with milk, and drown a bunch of raccoons in there.

Any other suggestions?

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10 Responses to Sassydome

  1. Adam says:

    How you ever came to have the proweess to make a “Rude Dog” reference is beyond me. You made me stand up and applause.

  2. Thom says:

    We could make it into a giant mosquito breeding pool out of it (specializing in mosquitos carrying west nile). Or a bird filled sanctuary for the cultivating and spreading of bird flu.

  3. Chris says:

    There are UNSOLD Rude Dog items available for purchase? Who’s sitting on that gold mine?

    I think we should revive the Roman gladiatorial competitions, as well as expositions of criminals (mostly Galileans) being torn to shreds by ravenous dogs. At the same time, in an almost unrelated (but somehow eerily related) move, we should make it a federal law that Civil War re-enactments be as realistic as possible, involving real bullets and similar casualties.

  4. Peter says:

    We could call it the Battle of Antiedome!

    I also agree about getting rid of the ethnics.

    Somebody DID mention that, right?

    Nevertheless, I’m for it.

  5. Thom says:

    Gladiator styled figts to the death between geeks.

  6. Q says:

    We could use it to handle the canadian goose “problem”:
    just pile them in there and gas the place. I heard
    a rumor last year that they played firing squad on a
    bunch of canadian geese just to get the numbers more
    manageable. Is that true?

  7. Thom says:

    I think you should shorten that…it could be used for dealing with the Canadian Problem in general.

  8. Peter says:

    Nice, Thom.

  9. Thom says:

    It had to be said.

  10. Christan says:

    The Canadian Problem?

    That hurts.

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