Wolf Out, Wolf Up, Wolf It

My sister Julia alerted me to this very important offer now available on craigslist:

Pure Wolf Action.Filthy Wolf Shit.

The seller includes this note to go along with his wolftastic wares: It is of wolves, very nice, perfect condition. I also have a wolf touch lamp. These were a wedding gift that we just have no space for.

What do you people say we all go in on this one together? Who’s with me? We can each keep the sweet wolf touch lamp and oak-framed wolf loveliness for a week before passing it on to the next person. The way I figure it, we could each have our homes made significantly wolfier for up to 28 days out of the year.

I don’t know about you guys, but Bridgette and I are currently wolfless when it comes to our interior decorating. I don’t know if she’s noticed this, but I certainly have, and I spend upwards of 3 hours a day ruminating on that very fact. I’ll just say it – I’m a wolf nut. I like shirts and pillows with wolves on them. If you can’t accept that, then I hope that a wolf someday shows you its beauty before eating your intestines out of your belly.

Anyway, let me know how much you’re willing to contribute to the JLP Wolf Fund.

P.S. Do wolves fart?

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6 Responses to Wolf Out, Wolf Up, Wolf It

  1. Sarah says:

    I can only contribute my sympathy Peter.

  2. scott says:

    my car has a wolf howling on the hood. i think i have enough wolf in my life. but that touch lamp looks amazing!

  3. Chris says:

    I must have the wolf touch lamp every day of the year, or I’ll have none of it at all. Wolves (and unicorns) must dominate my wardrobe, my walls, my car upholstery, my pantry, my love life, and my (future) daughter’s love life.

    BTW, if I drew a picture of several unicorns, would you be able to spot the false unicorn?

  4. HOLY CRAP! I forgot about the false unicorn! Was that in high school or college? I can’t remember…

    (long story short – a dude held me up a hand-drawn picture of 5 unicorns and asked me if I could spot the “false unicorn”.)

  5. Chris says:

    No, it wasn’t a dude, it was Jenny Silvernail. You only remember it as a dude because…it was Jenny Silvernail.

  6. Kristie R. says:

    You know…yesterday I had a dream involving both wolves and Bull from Night Court.
    After some careful consideration, I wonder if your blog is to blame…I mean, what are the odds, right? Will you sue me for copyright infringement if I change the name of my blog to the Richard Moll Project? :)

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