Monthly Archives: July 2006

The Shame of Moranis

I’ve got a question for you. This weekend, I brought home Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: Director’s Cut, so Bridgette and I could see the director’s original vision of his 1989 classic. Needless to say, we were underwhelmed. So here’s … Continue reading

Posted in Rants | 5 Comments

Jonathan’s Queries

How many grapes do you think exist in the universe? 200? A billion? 35,000? I don’t know the answer either, but I have a feeling that there are a ton of them. I eat them a lot! I tried looking … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 5 Comments

The Four Loves

There are four things I love in this world: 1. America. We will fight you. 2. Manifest Destiny. We will subdue and civilize all the world! It is ordained by God! 3. The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act of 1930. I agree … Continue reading

Posted in Raves | 7 Comments

Cat Dropping Snacks

New from Keebler! Sandies Fudge Drops! Fudge Drops. That’s quite a name there. What were the other names considered? Fudge Ploppings? Shitlets? Cookies ‘n’ Excrement? Am I the only one who thought that?

Posted in Meh | 2 Comments

My Wares

I just finished making a mix CD for my friend Adam. It’s a tricky thing, putting a mix together, especially for a man as tastefully discerning as old Adam. I had to choose the proper 18 songs for him, not … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 5 Comments

The Birthday Report

What a marvelous birthday I had! Glory, hallelujah! Let me list the blessings granted unto me to honor the start of my 29th year of life: -On Friday evening, there was a splendid gathering of my friends and Kevin. We … Continue reading

Posted in Meh | 4 Comments