The Birthday Report

What a marvelous birthday I had! Glory, hallelujah!

Let me list the blessings granted unto me to honor the start of my 29th year of life:

-On Friday evening, there was a splendid gathering of my friends and Kevin. We ate malted milkshakes together and many hearty handshakes were exchanged. Not even the unexplained arrival of a ravenous mountain cat from the restaurant’s kitchen could mar the evenings pleasantries, though several nearby children were eaten alive before the beast could be subdued.

-I was given many fascinating books, including:
“Team of Rivals” by Doris Kearns Goodwin
“In the Wake of the Plague” by Norman Cantor
“Vintage Thicke: My Life as America’s Cheerfully Benign Father Figure” by beloved television superstar Alan Thicke.

-My wife wisely balanced out these history books with a deft purchase of a Beavis and Butthead DVD collection for me. I am seriously fired up that my wife did this for me.

-On Saturday afternoon, a mysterious stranger unlocked the mysteries of all goblin knowledge to me. He also offered to wash off my windshield for $1.25.

-My mother-in-law gave me some expensive cologne. It smells like corn on the cob.

-My sister purchased tickets for her and I to see the EELS in concert next week. No word yet on if the “Susan’s House” dude will be there.

-My grandmother-in-law sent me a lovely card and $10 cash. While the dollar amount was certainly measly, I probably had it coming after the Thank-You Card fiasco.

-I fought a bunch of dudes and beat the hell out of all of them, though no details of this incident will be forthcoming.

-I got a very nice watch from my wife. It keeps track of what time it is so I know when I should poop.

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4 Responses to The Birthday Report

  1. Adam says:

    The Eels are coming?

  2. peter says:

    A week from today to the Minnesota Zoo amphitheater.

  3. Thom says:

    What really impressed me was how Leroy subdued the mountain cat single handedly. Though, why he had to keep singing the theme song to Small Wonder while doing that is still a mystery to me.

  4. scott says:

    the eels are hitting NOLA in a few weeks. my interest has been piqued because of y’all and i may attend. they better live up to the hype, or i’ll just continuously yell “SUSAN’S HOUSE!” the 2nd half of the show.

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