The Four Loves

There are four things I love in this world:

1. America.
We will fight you.

2. Manifest Destiny.
We're coming, we're coming!
We will subdue and civilize all the world! It is ordained by God!

3. The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act of 1930.
Pure Profit.
I agree with Herbert Hoover and his protectionist tariffs meant to promote U.S. agricultural interests. He was perhaps the greatest president in history.

But above all of these, there is something I love even more.

4. Godfather’s Pizza.
Filthy pizza lust

If ever a pizza chain were the inheritor of the aforementioned Manifest Destiny, it would be Godfather’s. Their pizza is succulent, their soda is servicable, and their seating is bountiful. Truly, within the browned walls of Godfather’s is a fertile land flowing with tomato sauce and meat toppings piled a full three inches high. Their pizzas are both a mouth-watering delight and a gastrointestinal grenade.

We here at the John Larroquette Project salute you, Godfather’s Pizza! You make suicide a slightly less attractive option for us all!

This entry was posted in Raves. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Four Loves

  1. Kevin says:

    Mmmmm Taco Pizza

  2. _steve says:

    You are out of your frickin mind. Papa John’s is BY FAR the best pizza ever.

  3. Thom says:

    If you cut Jesus, he bleeds red, white and blue.

  4. Christine says:

    Papa John’s eats and breathes Godfather’s dust! Long live Godfather’s!

  5. kevin s. says:

    I didn’t know TV’s Camryn Manheim had anything to do with Manifest Destiny.

  6. Thom says:

    That was early in her career to pay the bills.

  7. Sarah says:

    I tried a bufflalo chicken piece of pizza at Godfather’s earlier this week- not bad but increases the potency of the “gastrointestinal grenade”- nice alliteration by the way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>