Who here loves the Periodic Table of the Elements?
What’s the deal? Why aren’t all of you super into the elements of our universe? Think about it – thallium, carbon, and cobalt, how awesome are those? I’d argue that they’re better than grandparents and the NBA Finals combined!
Why does everybody have such a lousy attitude about the Periodic Table of the Elements all of this sudden? By the look on everyone’s face when I brought it up, you’d think that I’d just clubbed a kitten to death with an aluminium (Al) bat. Would it cheer anybody up if I told you that Db is the abbreviation for dubnium?
Apparently not. Wow, tough crowd.
Fine then. I’m through trying to fire all of you up about our natural world. So sue me if my pulse quickens at the mere mention of polonium (Po). I don’t particularly feel the need to apologize for the fact that I want my first two children to be named Bromine and Cadmium, regardless of their gender. I’ll admit it – I love almost all the elements of the Periodic Table (except barium, who stole my girlfriend in 9th grade).
Screw you guys. I’m going to go make a huge batch of homemade butterscotch pudding and eat it all, and then you’ll be sorry!