Every morning I wrangle with this one stupid eyelash I have that won’t cooperate and get in line with all the other obedient eyelashes.
If only my eyelashes weren’t so long and lustrous!
I’m telling you, if I had dull, stunted eyelashes, I wouldn’t have to deal with this. As it is, when you have voluminous, eye-catching eyelashes like mine, then sometimes you have to pay the piper and spend a few extra moments in the morning primping them.
I know a lot of people would kill to have gravity-defying, miracle eyelashes like I do, but believe me when I tell you it isn’t all fun and games. Sure, people stare in wonderment and approach me for my autograph, offering me cash simply for the pleasure of having seen me, but sometimes it can be a real pain. Like when my eyelashes brush against the lens of my glasses and I have to clean them off. As you can imagine, that can be somewhat annoying.
Sometimes I wish I could just trade in my long, beautifully curved eyelashes for a set of dumpy, brittle ones like yours, but then I realize that such a trade would be dumb. Mine are way better than yours, it’s obvious. The only way it would be worth it is if you also gave me a Cal Ripken Jr. rookie card.
So do you have one?