This will be my final transmission to you this week.
Soon, my beloved and I will descend into the nether-regions of Rochester for a familial gathering of gluttony and troll-feasts. We will greet each other with hugs and pleasantries before quickly getting to business. In two days, my family and loved ones must devour 3 whole turkeys, 14 lbs. of stuffing, 17 pumpkin pies, a 4 foot high stack of cool whips, a bathtub full of mashed potatoes, and a bowl of leftover french onion soup. We’ll then wash down our meal and refresh our palette with a large glass brimming with warm, whole milk.
My mouth is watering with anticipation right now at the very prospect of it. Just now, a small dallop of saliva dripped onto the ‘B’ key of this computer. I cannot help myself. It is who I am. I could no sooner stop drooling than I could stop throwing rocks at cars. It is my culture, and you are racist for suggesting I should behave otherwise. Just stop it. Stop being a racist.
See all you racist bastards on Monday.
I love whole milk!
Do you love drinking phlegm?
As far as I’m concerned, it’s the same thing.
You being racist and all, does that mean you’ll only eat the white meat?
No no, Sarah, you misunderstood. YOU are the racist.
It takes one to know one.
I don’t see the problem here.
As an Ibex, I don’t eat meat.
Phlem I will drink.