My Mounds Mistake

I’ve got a Mounds bar at my desk with me.
Go ahead.  Try one.

It’s been sitting in my drawer for a few days. I bought it on a whim, and I just haven’t bothered to eat it yet. Maybe I’ll end up eating it today. You never know.

Mounds bars are pretty good. Coconut covered in dark chocolate. Admittedly not the most natural, wholesome snack in the world (“sulfur dioxide” is listed among the ingredients). However, I have to say that Mounds is still far superior to Almond Joy. That single almond sitting there might as well be a cat turd as far as I’m concerned.

Have you ever had a Mounds bar? You should try one sometime. Maybe next time you could eat a Mounds bar instead of getting a divorce.

I’m sorry. Are the two not comparable? I guess I’m sometimes a bit naive about these things. In my head it seemed reasonable that taking a bite of Mounds’ delicious combination of coconut and chocolate would take your mind off the irreconcilable differences and repeated infidelity in your marriage. Well, it looks like I put my foot in my mouth again.

Seriously though, all things considered, you should try a Mounds bar. Don’t try one now while you’re mad at me, because your judgment will be clouded. Wait a couple days until this has passed over and then pick one up.

It’ll blow your mind.

This entry was posted in Best of the JLP, Ramblings. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to My Mounds Mistake

  1. Tony says:

    Almond Joy’s got nuts,
    Mound’s don’t.
    Sometimes you feel like a ,
    Sometime you .

    Hmm…. I feel like a nut all the time.

    You don’t?

  2. Thom says:

    Coconut gives me the heaves.

  3. Sarah says:

    You could always save the Mounds bar and use it to beat your students into submission.

  4. peter says:

    Sometimes I use Mounds bars to lure hobos out of their dwellings.

  5. Ted says:

    Your blog is more on target than you think Peter. 1 out of every 9 divorces are Mounds bar related.

  6. Kevin S. says:

    I even eat almonds and I hate Almond Joy. Why not just put a little piece of hamburger in your candy bar. Hey, waiter, can I get my coke with a side of asparagus? Next time I order quiche, I’ll be sure to get it with some maple syrup.

  7. peter says:

    You sound like Rev. Bob Ramsey there, Kevin.

  8. Kevin S. says:

    Holy baskets. I thought that was spam! $250,000 for nintendo games?

  9. Pingback: Ochuk’s blog » Blog Archive » Love Poetry Fridays

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