Dave BEEthoven

Where have all the bees gone? The bees are disappearing!

What will we do? I need my bees!


What is causing this disaster? Pesticides? Pathogens? The sadness of Darrell?

Something needs to be done about this horrific doomsday scenario. I demand that Congress stop their bickering and backroom haggling and get down to the business of crafting practical bee-producing legislation. I further demand that said legislation have a series of unrelated riders attached to it increasing pork-barrel spending thus contributing to the bloated state of our federal government. Then I demand that the bill be pigeonholed in committee by Sen. Dick Durbin of Illinois.

Then, and only then, will I be satisfied.

In hopes of raising awareness of this pressing issue, I present to you THE BEE SONG, free of charge. It is my prayer that this song softens hearts and opens minds to the plight of our lovely, precious bees.

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9 Responses to Dave BEEthoven

  1. Thom says:

    It’s cell phones disrupting their equilibrium, and seeing as yours is constantly ringing everytime we hang out, I think your cell phone is the top cause of the problem.

  2. peter says:

    The cell phone explanation is a crock. China and India have long had much greater cell phone usage than we do here, and they still have plenty of bees.

  3. Sarah says:

    That song’s genre was reminiscent of Adam Sandler’s “I Want to Die” from the Wedding Singer.

    Maybe if Peter would stop eating so many bees during Rock TV shoots they might stand a chance.

  4. goonclamper says:

    “IT … WAS … WORTH IT!” awesome.

    you know how every time you drive on a road and there is a swarm of bees hovering over it and you get close and you wonder if the bees will fly away and they always do but you morbidly kind of want them to be a little slow just once and drive through a cloud of bees bursting open on your hood and windshield because they were a little slow for once?

    that happened to me a million times this spring.

    it was glorious.

  5. Ted says:

    Actually there is some merit to the cell phone theroy. Tests performed at Hamilton Air Force base in California have proven that there is a direct effect between cell phones and procreation. The problem is that there is a real lack of coverage for bees and we don’t have bee sized cell phones yet. We really need to pursue this technology before the bees are all completely gone.

  6. Christine says:

    Ted – I know it was an easily made typo, but your spelling of the word “theroy” made me giggle endlessly.

  7. tomhipps says:

    Some favorite songs from when I was a kid:
    “Let It Bee” by the Bee-tles
    “Bad, Bad Theroy Brown” by Jim Crochet
    “I Bee-lieve” by Elvis Parsley

  8. Kevin S. says:

    Who the hell is Darrell? An why did Tom change the name of Elvis Presley to Elvis Parsley? That doesn’t have anything to do with bees. Also, what are bees? I hear so much about them.

    I see this leading to the kind of legislation that loses elections down the road. “Rep. Bjornstad authorized $220 million dollars to increase the bee population. Rep. Bjornstad, stinging taxpayers.”

    But seriously, Peter, you are the new Bono. Thank God for you.

  9. Thom says:

    Not true, Peter. Not true at all. You see, both China and India use a different frequency for their cell phones. That frequency in fact, does not trouble bees at all. It does, however, impact Panda populations. Mainly, it seems to cause an inner ear balance that causes Pandas to become gay. So, the moral of the story is: stop global warming.

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