Machiavellian Catschemes

The following conversation took place last night as I stared down our cat while holding a hammer.

BRIDGETTE: (annoyed) Peter, what are you doing?

ME: I’m showing Franklin who’s in charge.

BRIDGETTE: Well I’m in charge, and I forbid you from beating our cat with a hammer.

ME: (walking away) Fine.

I was forced to concede that particular battle to my wife, but rest assured, a time will come when I’ll be home alone with the cat. She can’t protect him forever. I’ll make certain he gets the message that I’m the boss.

At least when Bridgette’s not around.

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15 Responses to Machiavellian Catschemes

  1. Do you think some day Ben will be a “free cat?” If that day comes I will plan on seeing a sign in the front of your yard that says “free husband.” Now that would be the ultimate ending to JLP.

  2. Adam says:

    Thomas Jefferson, why the hell do you care? In remembering Alexander Hamiltion, it is true that Aaron Burr killed his body, but you, sir, killed his soul.

  3. peter says:

    Yeah, leave us alone, Thomas Jefferson!

  4. Ben Franklin says:

    I am gonna poop in your shoes, Peter.

  5. I’m gonna poop in ‘em too!

  6. peter says:

    Do you see what you’ve started, Thomas Jefferson? Are you happy now?!

  7. scott says:

    LOL TJ, LOL.

  8. Ted says:

    Haley Joel Osment has been pooping in a lot of shoes recently. She has a problem.

  9. This is how I roll. 8)

  10. Niles says:

    ahh, Haley Joel Osment is a boy there Ted :)
    just had to clarify…

    and om, I’m gonna come an pee in yer shoes cuz that’s worse…much harder to clean!! and that nice aroma!
    good stuff!

  11. Niles says:

    oops, sorry ……PETER (not Ted) I’m gonna pee in YOUR shoes.
    again, to clarify.

  12. Tomcat says:

    I think you should just pee in Ted’s shoes Niles, but make Peter walk a mile in them just to see how it feels.

  13. peter says:

    I am satisfied by the level of dialogue taking place here.

  14. Christine says:

    Why, a cat pooped on my arm just last night.

  15. Thom says:

    Niles…not according to the National Enquirer.

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