Hey kids, tired of the same old cereal?
Finally realized that Cocoa Krispies taste like shredded paper? Sick of forcing down gulpfuls of Froot Loops that literally taste worse than sickly human excrement? Does the thought of another bowl of Kix make you vomit a fountain of bagels and bile across your desk?
Then try new Waspy Crunch! The only cereal available in this country with bee-related nutrients! Taste the flavor of thorax-puss with a tangy zing of their frightning venom! These flavors will explode in your mouth with every crunchy spoonful! What’s that? You taste that extra sass? That’s the chocolate-coated antennae slamming you to the ground, forcing your face into the sandbox, and taste-raping your tongue!
Waspy Crunch is exclusively available across the floor of my basement, thanks to the nice exterminator-man. Order now!