Like “Frampton Comes Alive”, Only Awesomer

Last night, before a packed throng of sensitive adults, hyperventilating teens and curiously friendly men with ponytails, I did a concert with Jon Smith at my school.


This was a big deal, people. I’m serious. We were sweating bullets backstage before we went on. The tension was palpable. This photograph shows the precise moment when the pressure finally reached its breaking point and we chose to reject societal norms.


Before we knew it, the show had begun and we were nakedly laying our bitterest emotions before the audience, who soon began openly weeping and gnashing their teeth in nostalgic remorse. Shouts and wails of sharp emotion rang from the audience, but Jon and I played on remorselessly.


At this point we were in the middle of playing Jon’s song “Carolina” (here’s a free mp3 of it, if you like). It’s a song about the the depletion of the silverback gorilla population in the Amazon rainforest. At least I think that’s what it’s about. I’ll level with you – never actually bothered to listen to it.


This was during my song “Appreciater“. At this point, Jon was soloing and my mind was still in silverback gorilla mode. I’ll be honest, throughout pretty much the whole show I was obsessing about it. Maybe it’s a sin for one man to love a damn monkey-ape so bad that his guts hurt. If that’s wrong though, I don’t want to be right. Sometimes, the sweetest sins are worth the eventual regret.


I don’t want to go off on a tangent here, but wouldn’t you agree that the slaughtering of 6 million gorillas a week is more important than building a new baseball stadium for some millionaire owner? Doesn’t the grotesque beheading of apes and gluttonous feasts of festering monkey entrails make you indignant? I guess if you aren’t angry, you aren’t paying attention.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the America I once knew…

This entry was posted in Meh. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Like “Frampton Comes Alive”, Only Awesomer

  1. Thom says:

    The bees destroyed that America, Peter.

  2. Chris says:

    I like the rhetorical turn at the end of this article to the basic contents of a progressive liberal’s car bumper/frontal lobe. My only concern about the concert is that you made sufficient witty repartee/persiflage between songs a la Chris Cunningham (e.g., “Oh, and I got ripped off…in Dickenson…but that’s another story…maybe I’ll write a song about it…)

  3. tim hopps says:

    gimme back my direct box. when i place it back in my basement, it will shimmer and glimmer with the afterglow of the awesomeness of your concert; you, jimi hendrix and john lennon will appear in the bright cloud and converse, and i, awestruck, will offer to build three shelters (or memorials… not sure which), one for each of you; then a voice will come from the neon-like glow and say, “this is peter welle, my shining star. listen to HIM.” then there will only be the darkenss of my basement, along with the dampness and musty smell. the damn thing flooded last night during the heavy rains.

  4. Andrew says:

    I have not laughed that hard at a blog post in years. Bravo, unknown blog author. Bravo.

  5. Jon says:

    so sue me, i am passionate about those damn silverbacks. we all find inspiration somewhere….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>