An Absence Explained, and Questions Raised

Sorry for my absence yesterday. I was busy gutting puppies.

Just kidding. That’s my humor.

My server-guru and friend Geof nicely explained to me that I had been blocked out from the JLP. This was not due to my continued insensitivity and borderline crassness, but rather to a mere technical hiccup. As a result, you guys have been looking at a somewhat dull post about Peru for the last 48 hours. Sorry about that. I guess I probably owe each of you, like, $50 or something. Just mail me a self-addressed, stamped envelope, and I’ll get you bastards your precious cash.

Anyway, the good news is that I’m back, and I’m as racist as ever. Look out Bill O’Reilly, there’s a new sherriff in Crass County! I shoot first and ask questions later! I set remote Vietnamese villages aflame! I entangle myself in Nicaraguan guerrilla wars in an attempt to destabilize their socialist regime! I am the John Larroquette Project!

Be sure to check back tomorrow, when I will be posting cute pictures of my nephews.

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5 Responses to An Absence Explained, and Questions Raised

  1. Thom says:

    Hmmmm….I think the idea that you banned yourself from your own blog would have been a better route, Peter. The hilarious roads you could have travelled on that riff. Oh well, to late now.

  2. peter says:

    You’re probably right, Thom. Maybe it’s time I turn over the keys to the JLP to a young, fresh writer who doesn’t hate life like I do.

  3. Thom says:

    Sounds like the kind of discussions we all have when editing Rock TV…

  4. Jamie says:

    speaking of rock tv… I was thinking today I might need to get renters insurance before I invite you crazies to my place on monday.

    Fire flood locucts coverage?

  5. tim hopps says:

    i’m disappointed that after “i was busy gutting puppies” you added “just kidding. that’s my humor.” are you a little gunshy now after the Professor Tickles controversy and the Recreational Rape brewhaha that you feel you need to add disclaimers after your sick statements? c’mon, don’t apologize for nothin’!!!

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