Faulty Rabble Rousing

NOTE: This post was inspired by an idiot I heard on the radio on my way in to work.

You know what I hate? Women drivers.

Am I right here, guys? You know what I’m talking about? Women, when they drive, they’re just idiots! Just stupid idiots with emotions!

Seriously, last week I saw a lady driving, and she was putting on her lipstick! Can you believe that? On top of that, while she was applying her lipstick, she repeatedly ran over child while looking me directly in the eye. I’ll admit – I was a little bothered by it. You want to know what really bugs me though? That woman was Gloria Steinem. The child she ran over? Home Alone-era Macaulay Culkin.

culkinfeast.jpg

Hey fellas, we’ve all seen it. Women on the road, swerving around irrationally while ululating their high-pitched shrieks of insanity. I mean, who among us hasn’t enjoyed a hearty chuckle at their simple-minded reasoning and inability to prepare us a properly succulent roast beef dinner? Having said that, women drivers are no laughing matter. Every year, 4 million children probably contract diabetes as a result of women drivers. That is literally worse than the Darfur atrocities.

If you ask me, Saudi Arabia got it right when they made it illegal for women to drive. That’s the limit of my knowledge of Saudi Arabia, but I’ll go ahead and assume that everything else about that country and its government is up to snuff.

I say its about time we do something about women drivers. Who’s with me? Let’s march on D.C. and accuse the corporate media of underreporting the number of people marching alongside us! Let’s build the dream of a single, safer America and a bridge to tomorrow!

And while we’re at it, let’s do something about all the Filipinos!

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11 Responses to Faulty Rabble Rousing

  1. Ranting Male Driver says:

    I saw the same thing last week!!!! Dang ladies and their lipstick. But at closer inspection, she looked very similar to the Peter guy that I know…weird.

  2. Bridgette says:

    Wow, Peter. I might think before posting something like this. Your wife does read your blog.

  3. Thom says:

    Man…about those women blog readers…

  4. peter says:

    I’ve done it! I’ve finally provoked a comment from my wife!

  5. Adam says:

    Ello, Pee-der, I would like to get my drivers liscence from the state of Ca-lee-for-nya. Can you help me?

  6. scott says:

    i agree on the women drivers. wth are they thinking with their giant SUVs and texting? i saw that just this morning! you are a pioneer bringing these concerns to light Peter, i applaude you sir!

  7. Roger says:

    I applaud you, too, and you can always crash at my place after your wife reads your posts.

  8. _steve says:

    If this was an attempt to provoke a comment from Bridgette…WELL DONE SIR!!!

  9. Kevin s. says:

    “Ello, Pee-der, I would like to get my drivers liscence from the state of Ca-lee-for-nya. Can you help me?”

    All the hubbub over Peter’s (somewhat insane) wife’s comment cannot obscure the fact that this is profoundly unfunny. This had better be an inside joke. If necessary, call Peter and make this into an inside joke, or I am writing a press release. Holy crap.

  10. Adam says:

    Iside joke it is! He knows. NCLEX. That’s what I’m talking about.

  11. peter says:

    Ah, NCLEX. What a crappy job that was.

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