NOTE: This post was inspired by an idiot I heard on the radio on my way in to work.
You know what I hate? Women drivers.
Am I right here, guys? You know what I’m talking about? Women, when they drive, they’re just idiots! Just stupid idiots with emotions!
Seriously, last week I saw a lady driving, and she was putting on her lipstick! Can you believe that? On top of that, while she was applying her lipstick, she repeatedly ran over child while looking me directly in the eye. I’ll admit – I was a little bothered by it. You want to know what really bugs me though? That woman was Gloria Steinem. The child she ran over? Home Alone-era Macaulay Culkin.
Hey fellas, we’ve all seen it. Women on the road, swerving around irrationally while ululating their high-pitched shrieks of insanity. I mean, who among us hasn’t enjoyed a hearty chuckle at their simple-minded reasoning and inability to prepare us a properly succulent roast beef dinner? Having said that, women drivers are no laughing matter. Every year, 4 million children probably contract diabetes as a result of women drivers. That is literally worse than the Darfur atrocities.
If you ask me, Saudi Arabia got it right when they made it illegal for women to drive. That’s the limit of my knowledge of Saudi Arabia, but I’ll go ahead and assume that everything else about that country and its government is up to snuff.
I say its about time we do something about women drivers. Who’s with me? Let’s march on D.C. and accuse the corporate media of underreporting the number of people marching alongside us! Let’s build the dream of a single, safer America and a bridge to tomorrow!
And while we’re at it, let’s do something about all the Filipinos!