Hey you guys ever sucked on a highlighter?
Try it sometime. Bite down hard on the felt tip and start sucking. It makes a weird sound and it tastes terrible and it kinda screws up the color of your lips for a couple days, but it’s awesome.
Here, watch how I do it.
There, see? I just sucked that pink bastard dry. Oh god, that taste is disgusting. It’s like the chemical formula for sorrow. Why did I do this?
The remorse is unbearable. I am seriously regretting sucking on that highlighter. I can feel the pink toxins begin to drip into my stomach. Everything is so awful right now.
I’m seeing colors I shouldn’t be seeing. The room is beginning to spin…
Father? Father, is that you? I sucked the pink highlighter for you, Father. Just to see your face again.
Thanks for visiting my blog, everyone. I hope you found it to be encouraging and edifying.