A Highlighter Journey

Hey you guys ever sucked on a highlighter?

Try it sometime. Bite down hard on the felt tip and start sucking. It makes a weird sound and it tastes terrible and it kinda screws up the color of your lips for a couple days, but it’s awesome.

Here, watch how I do it.


There, see? I just sucked that pink bastard dry. Oh god, that taste is disgusting. It’s like the chemical formula for sorrow. Why did I do this?

The remorse is unbearable. I am seriously regretting sucking on that highlighter. I can feel the pink toxins begin to drip into my stomach. Everything is so awful right now.

I’m seeing colors I shouldn’t be seeing. The room is beginning to spin…

Father? Father, is that you? I sucked the pink highlighter for you, Father. Just to see your face again.

Thanks for visiting my blog, everyone. I hope you found it to be encouraging and edifying.

This entry was posted in Ramblings. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to A Highlighter Journey

  1. Adam says:

    I haven’t been one to suck on highlighters, but I do breathe on them sometimes to make them more moist. Now there is a good word: “moist.”

  2. peter says:

    You make a good point, Adam.

  3. Tim Hopps says:

    i used to spray PAM into a plastic bag and inhale it. unfortunately, unlike peter’s story, mine is true.

    dat’s why ahm sa dam dum.

  4. my favorite line: “everything is so awful right now.” why that makes me laugh i don’t know, but this post gets a solid “A”.

    how ’bout you, adam?

  5. Craig says:

    I used to eat Cherry Chapstick. Maybe I still do.

  6. Craig says:

    “dat’s why ahm sa dam dum…”

    Sounds like Paul Simon’s “Graceland” album lyrics.

    Oh wah, oh wah,


  7. peter says:

    Craig, further reading on chapstick consumption can be found here:


  8. Craig says:

    Wow! I’m not alone. =)

  9. Roger says:

    I told you not to use the pink. You’ll go blind!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>