Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, guys. Over the course of the evening Wednesday, I managed to jack my back up even worse, and by Thursday morning I was basically immobile. I wasn’t at work, and so I didn’t have internet access.
I feel that I have let all of you down, and for that, I apologize.
No, I hadn’t really considered that I could have typed up a post at home and then taken my laptop to a nearby wi-fi hotspot to post it. That wasn’t really on my mind – I was more worried about the wrenching pain I was experiencing. I guess I’m also sorry that I didn’t get in my car and drive somewhere that had wireless internet so I could post for you.
Well, I suppose I hadn’t really considered the position I put all of you in. I was thinking about myself, apparently. Look, again, I’m really sorry about all of this.
Okay, that’s enough. I’ve already apologized numerous times. What do you want from me?! I was wrong, okay? Apparently everything I’ve ever done was wrong! You people always end up making me feel bad about myself!
*Peter runs into his bedroom and slams the door*
*muffled sobs can be heard*
Leave me alone! I’m writing in my diary of secret emotions! I’m writing about how you guys leave me feeling used and dirty!
No, I will not come out and discuss this rationally like an adult! Not until you promise to stop making me feel like some vehicle for your own base gratification! Stop making me do stuff I’m uncomfortable with!
These tears are the bitter taste of my compromised essence! The truth is not in me!
*gunshot blast*
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Be sure to come back on Monday, folks!
You owe us. Buck up and be a man…overcome your pain, weakling!!!!
Peter, can you contemplate suicide in the garage? I have to pee.
“Stop making me do stuff I’m uncomfortable with!”
And exactly what would that be?
Peter’s head is like a tossed salad.
We lost both Peter and Bridgette to suicide shootings.
I feel like we’ve gotten somewhere this week ,folks.
Yay! Now I can start the Groucho Marx Project!