Apparently it’s 2008 now. Hopefully now that 2007′s over, we’ll hear no more about this presidential election they keep talking about on TV.
I’d like to take a brief moment here while on vacation to share my resolutions for 2008 with you. If you don’t like them, I have others.
I will read the “Taste” section of the newspaper every day. After all, it is published, for some reason.
I will belly dance for a tribal raja, in celebration of the annual goat harvest. My dance will be disapproved of, and I will be gutted before the people of my village. Anthropology majors will blame this on Christian colonialism.
I will become an wandering lettuce salesman and publish a quarterly newsletter for my regular customers.
I will desecrate the spring break parties of Ft. Lauderdale by releasing rabid, frenzied donkeys into sundrenched crowds of writhing, scantily-dressed young adults.
I will eat more foods featuring melted cheese.
I will be diagnosed with a disease that causes everybody to feel sorry for me and allows me to take a lot of days off work, but that doesn’t hurt and causes no damage to my body whatsoever. I will call this disease Hemopheliawesome.
Now, if we all close our eyes and hold our breath, 2009 will be here before we know it!
As for the rabid donkeys, if there are spring breakers present they will probably wildy approve of the beasts.
In fact the donkeys will probably be treated the same and eventually be taken home as souvenirs and mascots- if they’re not strung up and beaten like pinatas to see if candy will fall out.
MMMM…candy. I’m sorry Peter. What were you saying?
My prediction is human-donkey hybrids in our future…
How does one contract hemopheliawesome? I would like to get it as well.
you have to have unprotected sex with peter.
I did it again!