Scattered, Idiotic Musings

You seem friendly. Are you friendly?

I like friendly people the most. They smear their smiley sunshine all over the wall!

Have you ever met somebody who was a sourpuss? Somebody who just loved to frown? Didn’t you just want to mutilate them?

Friendly people, on the other hand… They plop gumdrop droppings on the sidewalk just for you and me! They make puppies squeak and cougars whistle with glee!

One time I met a man who was sad. He said that his pony had died. I told him that I would give him a new pony in exchange for $500. After he paid me, I walked away and never saw him again. I hope he is happy now!

Have you ever met a grump? Have you ever known a grouch? Let’s find those people and cheer them up! I have some chewing gum we could share with them. It’s tropical flavored. Do you know that many nations in the tropics are riddled with government corruption and grave social inequities? I prefer not to think about those things and instead reflect on what my chewing gum tastes like.

Mmmm…pineapple.

Im glad you are a friendly person and not like that last guy. He was in such a rush to leave! What say you we find him, trap him, and sell him into slavery in the Malaysian black market? Then he will learn to be friendly forever!

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20 Responses to Scattered, Idiotic Musings

  1. Sarah says:

    Geez Peter, you always gotta pick on Kevin like that.

    Not cool man, not cool.

  2. tim hopps says:

    i don’t care if ted says i don’t have to grade everything. today’s blog is A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!

    by the way, when my niece was a baby she once smeared her poop all over the wall. does that count as smiley sunshine?

  3. Barack Obama says:

    I’m Barack Obama, and I approve this message.

    (smile)

  4. Shame on you, Barack Obama, for supporting a nonsensical musing about gumdrops and poop.

    Shame. On. You.

  5. Barack Obama says:

    (shakes head disapprovingly)

  6. But whoever wins, it’s great for the Democratic party. I believe that sincerely, now watch me smile…

  7. Ignorant Malaysian Slave says:

    (Pours gasoline over Hillary and Obama…)

    Who’s smiling now????!
    You want our child labor and cheap clothing…..well the price is wrong bitch.

  8. Godzilla says:

    I challenge HillObama for dominance over tiny Asian people.

  9. tim hopps says:

    hey, hey… enough of this political hooey. let’s get back to gumdrops and sunshine, you sourpusses and grumps!

  10. Barack Obama says:

    “Who’s smiling now????!”

    (frowns)

  11. Shove it, Godzi. I whipped Newt Gingrich, and I can whip you. I love those adorable little bastards more than you ever could.

  12. Godzilla says:

    (devours Hillary)

    Yarrrrggggh…. Now I am the superdelegate!

  13. Barack Obama says:

    (smiles approvingly)

  14. Roger says:

    I thought I had a clever comment, but I read the others first. :(

  15. I have grown into a beautiful and confident woman!

  16. Barack Obama says:

    (smiles)

    You’re the belle of the ball, Chelsea.

  17. Bill Clinton says:

    Chelsea makes a great intern!

  18. Barack Obama says:

    (shakes his head disapprovingly)

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