Do any of you guys have a used Band-Aid? I kind of need one.
I don’t care what kind of shape it’s in. It could be crusted over with puss and brown blood, that’s fine. I just need a used Band-Aid.
Don’t worry, sanitation is of no concern to me. Regular readers of my blog will not be suprised to hear this.
The Band-Aid could have been applied to human skin, a cat’s paw, or a poodle’s anal pore. It doesn’t matter. I just need a Band-Aid, and it’s imperative that it is not crisp or sterile.
Ahh, here we are! This one has been sitting in the basin of a locker room drinking fountain. From the looks of it, it had been applied for quite some time. It is curled up, and the white gauze is dark with unspeakable secretions. This is the best one I’ve seen in quite some time.
I’ll just place this soaking wet, used Band-Aid in a fresh baggie, and seal it. Now, at long last, it is ready.
Does anybody have Barack Obama’s mailing address?