Plumbing Sadness

You ever wonder what sort of foul, crusty nastiness contaminates the plumbing of your home? Well, the other night, after paying $400 to the Roto-Rooter guy, Bridgette and I were able to find out:

A tangled, rancid mess of tree roots, rusty sand, and miscellanious nastiness.

If I’d have been thinking right, I would have snapped a picture of the bucketful of blackened shame that the gentleman delivered to us, but I wasn’t. I was unfortunately preoccupied with the dank, putrid smell that now overwhelmed our basement. It was like trying to maintain a conversation with a pleasant stranger while an unwashed hobo is pooping on the sidewalk just a few yards away and speaking in an invented language.

The good news is that now we can run our washing machine without flooding the basement. That bad news is that we basically paid a man $400 to make our basement smell like human feces. This truly is the filthiest remorse of all.

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7 Responses to Plumbing Sadness

  1. Tami says:

    Your house is following in my house’s disasters…first the water heater, now the main line drain. Start saving up because next comes the furnace!

  2. Sarah says:

    Dirty Hobos should be paying you to live in your basement. You shouldn’t have to pay for them to come in there.

    Wait ’til the water main breaks and the city comes by tearing out half your driveway, only to shoddily fill it in so when you first run your car over it, the driveway collapses into a big sinkhole that starts flooding the yard.

  3. Thom says:

    You should throw a party in the basement before the smell dissipates. Also, could be worse. I found out that a toilet clog in my old apartment was a dead cat. How did a dead cat get flushed down a toilet you ask? That’s another story for another time.

  4. tim hopps says:

    as an apartment building manager, my maintenance crew has pulled some crazy things (toys and brushes are popular) out of toilets. i myself retrieved plastic bags and twist-ties out of a jammed garbage disposal; one foreign family washed their clothes in the dishwasher and flooded their kitchen. another large family of a different culture rented 2 apartments next to each other, which is great… but then they actually cut a huge hole in the living room wall so they could all sort of live together. some residents think it’s ok to put tennis shoes in the clothes dryer at 11pm; just recently a resident swore up and down that she never, ever allowed hair to go down her bathroom sink drain… yet my maintenance guy pulled out a hairball the size of ben franklin himself. then there’s the smelly, beligerent homeless guy that’s recently been sleeping in our lobby. when challenged, he maintains that he owns the building.

    no wonder i escape to the JLP every day.

  5. Sarah says:

    Laundry in the dishwasher…………priceless! Did they try to dry them in the microwave??

  6. tim hopps says:

    no, but recently when i had swollen glands in my neck, my doctor said to wrap hot towels around my throat. i burned up two kitchen towels trying to heat them in the microwave. (yes, i was silly enough to try it again after i burned up the first one). man, what a smell!

  7. Ted says:

    Since the smell is already there you should start renting out your space to homeless people for a percent of their panhandling.

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