Bridgette and I own a home in North Minneapolis. If you’re unfamiliar with the Twin Cities, North Minneapolis is the unwashed butthole of our greater metropolitan area.
When explaining where I live, I often find myself going to great lengths to explain that our house is in the northernmost reaches of North Minneapolis, and that I am one block away from Brooklyn Park. For those who know Brooklyn Park, however, this is a meager consideration. It would be like pointing out that you only have partial meth-mouth.
Recently, a community newspaper included a handy map that helped illustrate the economically craptacular status of the North Minneapolis, highlighting foreclosed homes with a stigmatizing red dot of financial iniquity.
Can you see where our house is? It’s the one surrounded by all the glowing red dots of sorrow.
Strain your eyes, look closer, and you might find it. We’re on the block where three houses are selling for less than $80,000.
See it? Good for you! Don’t you just love all the little red sadness-dots? After staring at them a while, they put you in a festive Christmastime mood!
Then they make your home drop in value 19%.
It’s a good thing that Bridgette and I love our house, because it has become clear that we’re going to be there for a while…
Our work here is done.
Time to start playing the lottery, eh?
Vote John McCain! He will deregulate the mortgage industry so that the market will solve all your problems!
You won’t be there long if the bank forecloses!
Just think of it. You essentially have a 500 acre yard with lots of play houses!
i too, when someone asks where my house is, varnish my answer thusly: “it’s in north minneapolis, but it’s right in the very northwest corner, in a nice little neighborhood right on the border of brooklyn center… in fact, my side of the street is minneapolis, and the other side is brooklyn center. just north of Robbinsdale, actually, and sort of near the intersection of 100 and 694… i scouted out the area really well before i bought the house… i walked around the neighborhood at different times, day and night, even walked through the alley behind my house and talked with several neighbors, who all said it was a real stable little pocket. heck, kevin and khris sawyer live right across the street, how bad could it be?” by this time they’ve left and are several blocks away.
those pictures look like bacteria, or zits.
oh, and by the way, once again KS (aka Tri-MN Mtg.) left the Best Comment of the day. i hope they see it.
I just realized that your house was under one of the Red Dots. That doesn’t bode well for you!