Comments on: Break-In

By: Guy Incognito

Guy Incognito — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:37:42 +0000

It would be different if you hadn’t pulled the same trick twice in a week.

By: peter

peter — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:32:57 +0000

I will never, ever live that stupid comment down.

By: Guy Incognito

Guy Incognito — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:54:42 +0000

I do.
Can I borrow some money? My wallet’s in the car.

By: kevin s.

kevin s. — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 04:01:40 +0000

Tom,

Wanna go gun shopping?

By: Guy Incognito

Guy Incognito — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:24:24 +0000

Plus, then you’ve got DNA evidence.

By: scott

scott — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:22:50 +0000

wow, that’s like a Chuck Norris edition stereo.

“what’s that red stuff?”
“oh, just the blood of the person who tried to steal it”
(wide eyed look)
“yeah, you heard me”

By: Thom

Thom — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:46:12 +0000

Sarah….a friend of mine had a brother who got tired of getting his car stereo stolen. So he lined the stereo with an unseen accessory. When someone next tried to steal his car stereo, they instead sliced up their fingers on razor blades. The blood stains were fair compensation for getting to keep the stereo…

By: Thom

Thom — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:43:05 +0000

Ted…technically, the cowboy hat and boots would have to be worn by the house. Luckily, I happen to have a pair of giant cowboy boots and a giant cowboy hat.

By: tim hopps

tim hopps — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:15:05 +0000

and i hope your cats got a good scolding for being home and not doing anything.

By: tim hopps

tim hopps — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:55:48 +0000

this sucks. a couple weeks ago the house next door to mine was broken into as well, and she was 99% sure she knew who did it… some punks who live in the rental house down the alley (the only things missing were video games). she saw them in the alley behind her house shooting baskets when she took her dog for a walk. 20 minutes later she comes back, the back gate is open, the kids are nowhere in sight, and her daughter’s video games are all gone. and the cops didn’t do a damn thing about it… no “evidence” that it was those kids. (aren’t the police the ones who are supposed to LOOK for evidence?) they wouldn’t even talk to them. i’m just waiting for my turn, which is a shitty way to live.

By: Ted

Ted — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:45:20 +0000

Maybe you should just name you house Chuck Norris. Then nobody would bother it again. Although you would be required to get it a cowboy hat and some boots.

By: Ed

Ed — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:43:57 +0000

I haven’t read this blog in forever, so what an unfortunate time to start reading it again! I am so so so sorry. That totally sucks. I live in the Frogtown neighborhood in St. Paul, and it seems like crime in this city is starting to get out of control. Just a few weeks ago, I bought a couple new bikes for me and my wife and they were stolen out of my garage within a week. I saw them ride off with them. I can’t drive by a teenage kid (with a big white t-shirt) on a bike without checking if it’s mine. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have my house broken into. A friend of mine came home to his broken-in house and found one of his butcher knives sitting on his bedroom dresser upstairs. It’s a good thing he wasn’t home.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:17:02 +0000

Huuray Militia. I’d like to do the thing guy incognito suggests with my car. it’s been broken into 4 times in the last 2 years….the last time right in my driveway while I was home.

Sorry to hear the news Peter.

I think most kids that wear do rags need a good oar slapping anyway.

By: Ted

Ted — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:56:37 +0000

I recommend that we raise a militia to deal with the growing crime in the city. Charles, will you lead us?

By: Charles Bronson

Charles Bronson — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:09:22 +0000

Vigilante justice is always “in”.

By: Roger

Roger — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:44:26 +0000

I hear vigilante justice is also “in” right now.

By: Geof F. Morris

Geof F. Morris — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:36:54 +0000

My trusty .45ACP and I can be there in 19 hours. Just say the word [and pay for my gas to drive to the Twin Cities].

By: kevin s.

kevin s. — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:45:15 +0000

I think Ted should go to your house and stand outside shirtless with his sword.

By: Ted

Ted — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:39:18 +0000

The whole situation stinks. I am really sorry Peter. Please let Gina and I know if there is anything we can do. I have a sword. I don’t know if that helps but I thought you should know.

By: Tami

Tami — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:38:36 +0000

I had to call Bridgette to see if your car was really stolen since it hadn’t been when I last talked to her. Nothing like kicking you when you’re down. I glared at every kid I drove by on the north side yesterday. I think nearly all of them were wearing over-sized white t-shirts and black do-rags. Must be the “in” thing.

By: R.T. Rybak

R.T. Rybak — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:24:34 +0000

Never fear. In response to your incident, I have hired 38 lesbians to administrative posts within the city. Our community gardens will be better than ever!

By: Guy Incognito

Guy Incognito — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:19:38 +0000

I think an appropriate response would be to rig all your doors with shotguns operated by strings tied to the door knobs and strung thru an elaborate system of pulleys.
At least, that’s what I’d do.

By: _steve

_steve — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:52:39 +0000

Damn, I’m sorry man. If I were there, I’d TOTALLY be down on kicking the asses of those little bitches.

By: Thom

Thom — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:11:58 +0000

That really sucks. Sorry I couldn’t hang out on Saturday. Breakins are frightening time.

But I must note…this post was not remotely funny, Peter. I always expect you to find the grand humor in life’s tragedies. Instead, I found myself concerned and worried about friends.

By: scott

scott — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:38:58 +0000

dude, sorry to hear that. if i lived closer, i’d come over for some crippling with oars. hope the cops get their act together and beat confessions out of those punks!

By: peter

peter — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:55:33 +0000

You should cripple them with an oar.

By: Adam

Adam — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:52:36 +0000

Damn. Sorry to hear that, man. I will come over there with my canoe and kick their asses.