Bonus Burglary Bits

A few updates from the Fun-Time Sugar-Burglary over the weekend:

The cops have, in fact, located our Toyota Camry. They found it on 35th and Logan, smack-dab in the middle of the most pleasant neighborhood in Christendom. It is still considered evidence in an ongoing investigation, however, so we aren’t able to go check it out. I’ll just go ahead and assume that it still has a stereo in it and that it doesn’t reek of weed.

The police department seems extremely hesitant to give out any information about my case, presumably to avoid citizen-led, Charles Bronson-esque vigilante missions of street justice. I can report, however, that we haven’t seen the three 15-16 year old kids in oversized white t-shirts and black do-rags wandering the streets for a couple days. Hopefully they committed ritual suicide to ease the burden on those of us choosing to live in the civilized world.

While our car waits patiently for us at the Minneapolis impound lot, our insurance company has given us a loaner car – a 2008 Hyundai Elantra:

She is a steady steed, and drives as true as the Gospel of Mark (considered the oldest of the Synoptic Gospels, incidentally). Its acceleration is formidable, and the breeze from it’s A/C unit is like a blast from the cheeks of Santor Klaus himself. It is the perhaps finest Japanese export since the Tamagotchi virtual pet.

A contractor came out to our house on Tuesday afternoon to give an estimate on the costs to fix our broken sunroom windows. He looked at the old window slats that were probably installed in the late 1950s and just laughed, saying he hadn’t seen parts like that for sale in 20 years. He said we’ll need to install a set of new windows for that room.

The insurance company is probably not going to be happy with this news…

A new security system was installed in our home on Monday. Various beeps can be heard at different times in the house, which bring with them a vague sense of satisfaction and security. Also, they startle the cats, which I find pleasing. The yard signage ain’t so bad, either (particularly for stabbing burglars with).

Thanks so much to all of you who have left us voice messages or emails over the last couple days checking in on us. They have all been very much appreciated, and I’m sorry if we haven’t gotten back to you yet. Ted’s offer of an evening of compensatory Wii-playing was thus far the most generous, for which he will be rewarded tenfold in heaven.

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5 Responses to Bonus Burglary Bits

  1. Thom says:

    Set off the alarm. The ear piercing wail and no ability to turn it off on your own is awesome!!!! And trying to talk to the security system company rep on the phone to give them the password is additional fun. Plus you get to be deaf for about three days after words! It is TOTALLY FUN!!!!!!

  2. scott says:

    if on the evening of the Wii playing, you end up playing Mario Kart and we happened to play in the same race, i would let you win.

  3. Adam says:

    Sorry to hear about your woes, man. If I see any big-shirted, do-rag-wearing bafoons I will be sure to run them over with my Toyota.

    (Toyota owners stick up for each other)

  4. kevin s. says:

    Here’s the thing. It is not illegal to drive a stolen car in Minneapolis. Therefore, all the thugz have to do is claim someone gave them the car.

    The most the cops can do is hold them until they do a search and see if they have any priors, or if they have any drugs on their person. If they did have drugs, they most likely through them in the back seat, where again they become inadmissable as evidence.

  5. peter says:

    I know. The only chance these guys get in any real trouble is if my neighbor is able to positively ID them as the guys who stole it (which I think he went in to do yesterday), and even then it’s a long shot.

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