You want some orange juice?
I’ve got a tall glass of delicious orange juice right now. I just had a sip. It was tart and sweet, like a compliment from a hated ethnic rival.
You want to take a drink from my glass of orange juice? You’re welcome to it. I’ve drunk about a dozen full glasses of orange juice today, so it’s a safe bet that my bowel movements are pure liquid by this point.
It’s probably time for me to lighten up on the ol’ orange juice, but that ain’t gonna happen. You’d have better luck asking a stray dog to stop licking its filth-encrusted anus than getting me to set down my tall glass of refreshing orange juice.
I used to call it OJ, but then there was some unpleasantness surrounding that name in the mid-90’s. Do you remember that? It was the moment when it became clear that a substantial percentage of our nation’s people are basically insane.
Anyway, I still like orange juice.