Convention Fever!

Do you have Convention Fever?

Have you been watching the wall-to-wall coverage on cable? Are you crotch-deep in balloons? Have you been watching pundits so long that the professorial George Will has begun to resemble sturdy Midwestern rocker George Thorogood?

If the answer is yes, your diagnosis: Convention Fever. Your prescription: suicide.

My face has broken out in hives and my skin has grown gray and clammy in what I fear to be Convention Fever. I have sent word to ol’ Doc Taft to make haste in getting here, as my heartbeat is growing shallower with each American flag straw hat sighting…

Folks, be sure to check back in tomorrow, when I liveblog my death.

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13 Responses to Convention Fever!

  1. scott says:

    dude, i have a solution…..GO to the RNC next week. i think dealing with convention fever directly such as actually going to a convention may restore your skin to its natural pinkish hue.

  2. Guy Incognito says:

    You can ride with me, since I work like 2 blocks from the Xcel Energy Center.
    Going to work is going to be hell next week…

    On the plus side, I might get the opportunity to run down a few protesters! :D

  3. _steve says:

    Dude…Doctor William Howard Taft?


  4. tim hopps says:

    i think i’ve got it bad. politics usually bore me, yet this year i’ve been paying close attention (a war waged for questionable reasons and a suckass economy will do that to a guy i guess). i got showered and into my pj’s early last night and plopped down in front of the tv with a big bowl of homemade salsa & chips to watch Hillary’s speech.

  5. Guy Incognito says:

    Did you tear up?

  6. Roger says:

    You mean, Doctor William Howard Taft, Medicine Woman?

  7. Thom says:

    I think the only edge the DNC has is that they have much better celebrities show up at their shindig. The RNC gets all the favorite stars of my dead great grandmother.

  8. Todd says:

    Whooooaaaa Thom….. Too soon. Too Soon.

  9. Sarah says:

    There’s just no escaping it. If you only knew the power of the dark side of the RNC…….

    Also, St. Paul college keeps leaving me voicemails about parking during the convention and how I’ll need a special sticker to park on campus.
    I don’t even go to St. Paul college.

  10. Guy Incognito says:

    Then why are you trying to park on their campus?

  11. Kevin S. says:


    Your dead great grandmother was into Daddy Yankee?

  12. Thom says:


    She had terrible taste in music.

  13. Sarah says:


    I’ll park my car wherever I damn well please…..

    But really, I’m not trying to park anywhere around there.

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