I may have made a mistake this morning.
I’m not sure yet, but I’m starting to wonder if the pink shirt I’m wearing was a miscalculation. Does it make me appear an effete intellectual? Will its color cause my students to lose their regard for me as I mindlessly drone on about the depletion of the Brazilian rainforest to make room for greater ethanol production? Does my pink shirt make me look like a dude who digs dudes?
It’s not my fault, you guys. My wife encouraged me to do it. She said something about how all my blue shirts look the same and she wishes she could throw all my blue shirts onto a bonfire and be rid of them forever. I don’t remember her exact words (I wasn’t really focusing on her – I was thinking about the Constitutional Convention of 1789 again).
At any rate, my point is that I fear I look like a fine British dandy in my pink shirt today. It’s probably too late for me to do anything about it, since I don’t have a back-up shirt in my desk drawer, and topless teaching is frowned upon these days in our litigious society. I am so miserable right now, you guys.
On the plus side, I haven’t brushed my teeth for a couple days now.
Girls think they can spruce up their men’s semi-formal style, but the fact is we’ve figured it out at age 13. If you wear a pink shirt you have secured yourself a wedgie.
Although, I have been a little daring these days with my pin stripes. Rebecca had nothing to do with it…
You’re on a slippery slope, my friend. Your wife is trying to turn you into one of her girlfriends. I think topless teaching is your only option. You’re better off taking the heat from your boss.
I take fashion advice from my wife, mostly because she cares about that sort of thing slightly more than I do, and she typically buys my clothes. However, I established long ago that pink clothing of any kind are not in her quiver, and never will be.
the judges in england are no longer going to wear those silly wigs. ask if you can have one, and wear it to class. then no one will notice your pretty pink shirt.
Or rip the seam of your pants out. That’ll distract them.
If you whistle as the female teachers walk by and scratch yourself a lot, you might be able to offset the pink shirt for one day. My advice is to burn it as soon as you get home, though. Better yet, take it off and give it to a beggar the second you’re not on school time anymore.
Note how not one of the founding fathers was wearing a pink shirt. That should tell you something, Peter.